You have to. I having a problem figuring who's name to put on things, like house, car, bank account. Now that its just only "us". We have to make the plans of ourselves. Its hard alone. I think we are afraid to be caught, unaware. (with our pants down). Also, I don't want anyone to think I can't do this alone.

I've done the same......I already spoke with my accountant and attorney about a will and investments. I have stepped in with my husbands business partner and we're running on strong " business as usual" barring a few bumps. We're doing fine now. My husband and I built a retirement home in South Carolina 8 years ago. I am sitting in my sun porch now writing this. Before I left New Jersey for this trip, I typed all of the passwords to everything we do on line for the business
for my partner. When I gave it to him I simply said " you never know".
I also left him the name and phone number of a very dear friend that would be able to help him with the QuickBooks program I use.
I don't know if it's paranoia or just being efficient. We know what we had to go through when our spouses died and I think subconsciously we want to make it as easy as possible for the ones we leave behind when our day comes. ......and yes, couldn't agree more....you need to relax. That's exactly what I am doing here in SC. Hang in there!

I think we are more sensitive to contingency plans because we have already expereinced a huge unexpected the loss of our spouse. And as Sandee put it we are alone which is more challenging. I cant say I worry about stuff but I have told my dgt what to do in certain situations ie; I got sick etc. Also my financial picture and retirement picture is so different because its one instead of 2.
I also collect cards of people I trust that offer different repair services which I never did before. I think contingecy plans come with this new terrritory. Gerald

Definitely not paranoia! It's realistic! It's what we must do now that we are in this situation. After my husband died, I sent an e-mail of all my necessary info to my daughter, mother and sisters. It's not what they wanted to know, but I needed them to have all the info that my husband would have known, in case something happened to me.

My mother, sisters and I were planning a trip to Spain in October, but I backed out, due to all of us being out of the country at the same time and no one being here for my children. It's just a new reality that we must sadly deal with.

Wishing all of you peace and all good things along this difficult journey,

Jackie

I call it a "loss of innocence". We have lost, temporarily, I hope, the ability to enter our future with thoughts of our plans are for sure. I feel more confident today than years ago, but tend to concentrate more on today than tomorrow and that's not a bad thing.

Plan B's are comforting and help us enjoy today without worry. Sharon

Because of his passing, I bought a niche for his and my urn someday to rest together. I have my will done named the beneficiary and have long term care insurance. So I am ready for whatever happen.

Because I have two disabled sons, I have had to consider contingency plans of every stripe and kind. And because I am living in a foreign country, with no permanent right (yet anyway) to be here, if anything happens to me, things get very complicated very fast. I have had to make contingency plans for both here in England and in the USA. I have an American will drawn up which covers several contingencies, and once the visa dilemmas are resolved, I have to put another set in place for here.

There is a kind of loss of innocence with it all. I don't think the average person my age thinks in these terms. I was widowed at 50 - there wasn't anyone in my age group or even several years older that was bereaved in my circle.

I remember one of the red-tape things I had to deal with early on was changing beneficiaries on my insurance and pension. I sat down with the pension person to fill out the forms and there was no box for "Widow" - only Married or Single. It just made dealing with that particular change in contingency plans that much more painful.

I always had a "Plan B" - as a mother, especially a mother to disabled kids, I had to. I also buried all 4 of our parents before I lost Cliff, so I knew I needed to have some things in place. But the range of things that needed to be covered with a contingency plan went way wider after Cliff died. I didn't have to have a contingency plan for house repairs for instance. I do now. I didn't have to have a contingency plan for car breakdowns. That changed - luckily my sister gave me an AAA membership - Viviane, that's the American version of AA.

People who have not experienced the loss of a spouse/partner do not understand the layers to our loss. Marsha described it once as being like an onion because there were so many layers - I always remember that. And onions do make you cry, don't they?

At least with contingency plans, once you have set them up, you are sort of done with it. Give yourself some credit for each one you take care of - you deserve it!

Love and Hugs,
Martha

I don't think this is paranoia at all - it's smart. I have made Plan B's and arrangements "just in case." One thing that unexpectedly worked out and may have saved my life - I made an Emergency Medical Info list with health insurance, emergency contacts, blood type etc. and put it in an envelope next to the front door and in the car. On New Years Eve of all times I couldn't breathe, couldn't talk, called 911 and was taken directly to ICU. Pneumonia. I didn't realize until I got home that paramedics saw the envelope and took it. I must admit that because my husb died so suddenly I am scared about my well being.

My fear is that if something happens to me, there will be no one to take care of me and I will end up in a nursing home.

I think it is a necessity to have all kinds of insurance when my husband was alive we did not have house insurance. When he passed away that was one of the first things I did. I even went one farther I am about to get a life insurance policy have to do a test tomorrow. You have to protect yourself from others harming you.