Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I've been going to Griefshare for a couple of months. One thing that was brought up last night was when we lost our loved ones, was that we thought we were in control of our lives, and wham, the control was gone.
That's exactly what it was. It's the complete udder separation from our loved ones. We had plans and dreams of our future. Everything we ever thought we had, was snatched away from us. It's because we are not in control of our lives, but God is.
I don't know about you, but my husband loved me more than God, and would get upset, if I thought God should be first in my life. We had a few conversations early in our marriage about this. God is always in control, no matter how we try and do our own thing. We were given the gift of our spouses, for the time we had them. We were meant to have them, for just that time, no more, no less. It's the reality of the separation, that tears your heart out.
It will be 2 years on Sept.8. On Sept. 10th, I will be walking in his honor, with my daughter and her sons. This is the 3rd walk, since his death, and I plan to do it every year if I can. It's "Out of the Darkness", and they have them in most major cities all year. It's to call attention to suicide, and hopefully to prevent more. If you get a chance to support one, please do. The grandkids, write a note to their gramps, and it's put in a balloon, and they release the balloons to heaven. They also read all the names of people that have committed suicide in the area, that their families want them remembered.
I usually try and stay positive, and this post does seem negative, but it's not meant to be.
I loved my husband with all my heart, and miss him everyday. If I can help anyone else along the way, I pray I can. We all have had our heart's broken in two.
I am getting better. I am getting out and trying to find out who I really am without him. I pray for everyone to have some peace with their loss, and the promise to see them again.
Paula
That's exactly what it was. It's the complete udder separation from our loved ones. We had plans and dreams of our future. Everything we ever thought we had, was snatched away from us. It's because we are not in control of our lives, but God is.
I don't know about you, but my husband loved me more than God, and would get upset, if I thought God should be first in my life. We had a few conversations early in our marriage about this. God is always in control, no matter how we try and do our own thing. We were given the gift of our spouses, for the time we had them. We were meant to have them, for just that time, no more, no less. It's the reality of the separation, that tears your heart out.
It will be 2 years on Sept.8. On Sept. 10th, I will be walking in his honor, with my daughter and her sons. This is the 3rd walk, since his death, and I plan to do it every year if I can. It's "Out of the Darkness", and they have them in most major cities all year. It's to call attention to suicide, and hopefully to prevent more. If you get a chance to support one, please do. The grandkids, write a note to their gramps, and it's put in a balloon, and they release the balloons to heaven. They also read all the names of people that have committed suicide in the area, that their families want them remembered.
I usually try and stay positive, and this post does seem negative, but it's not meant to be.
I loved my husband with all my heart, and miss him everyday. If I can help anyone else along the way, I pray I can. We all have had our heart's broken in two.
I am getting better. I am getting out and trying to find out who I really am without him. I pray for everyone to have some peace with their loss, and the promise to see them again.
Paula
Maggie
Kathleen
My husband, who wanted to live very much, after 4 surgeries & being told he was cancer free, died of the cancer they told him he didn't have just a few months after his last clean bill of health. I question God's "control" over the doctor who misdiagnoses Nick and over the doctor who was so certain he had "gotten it all" that there was no need for radiation or any other treatment. I also question the control when all tests showed clean and 4 weeks later his liver, pelvis & bones were full of metastasized bladder cancer. Nick was still needed here so badly (not just by me). He still had so much to give to those he worked with. Four months after his death they are still struggling and think of him daily. He was generous to anyone or anything in need. I truly do not understand.
I am sorry for the loss of your husband. I admire and respect your faith that God is in control. You are a brave lady and deserve good things. I hope some day I will find the acceptance and wisdom you have expressed. I also hope life treats you gently from now on. Darlene
We all have free will which is never taken from us. I hope you will be able to find out such a terrible thing could happen after he was supposed to be OK! You are entitled to that! My husband also died of bladder cancer in four weeks after it spread to his liver. So sorry for the grief journey you must go through now. Plus the shock. Check DS often, it helps immensely.
I too put God in first place, rightly so. My husband was a gift of God just for me. I did think once in awhile my husband might have been a tiny bit jealous but that was okay.