Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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pj1952 03/27/2015

I would like to add that there is "The Center for Complicated Grief in New York City". If you google it you can find some very good information and how it differs from regular grief, depression and PTSD, which I also suffer with. There is a section that explains that the treatment for complicated grief is different and what it entails. It also has a section for friends and family to read so they will know the difference in dealing with the person who suffers with complicated grief. The trouble for me again is I don't have either and that is why I am really deep trouble. There is also no one in Ohio that practices the complicated grief techniques that I have been able to find. I can't go to NY. It is hard knowing what I need and hard knowing that without it I will not make it. Hope this helps someone else though. Thanks for letting me be a part of the discussion group.

Lisastp 03/27/2015

I'm sorry that you're struggling so much. I bet if you contact a hospice organization in your area they have experienced grief counselors who have helped people with complicated grief. Even if it's not exactly the version of therapy you read about, it might still help you. Don't give up!

mlm2015 03/27/2015

I am sorry you are going through so much...don't give up, keep looking for the help you need in your area.
Thank You for the information.

themaster 03/27/2015

Yeah, none of it can hurt... I hope not, anyway.

pj1952 03/27/2015

Thank you Lisastp and mlm2015. I actually did seek help through hospice after about 7 months. Though they try to get you to go right to a group, I insisted on individual therapy. I went about 8 times and then started the group. The individual therapist was helpful at the time and so was the group, but very limited. Hospice does a good job, but as more and more baby boomers are losing there spouses, they can only do so much. I was grieving and I believe on the right track. It is the 32 months of isolation that I see no way of changing in my emotional state. I believe and it is supported by everything I read that isolation makes people sick. I was in very good health, but this has taken it's toll. The world has changed a lot and unfortunately, no one even looks and anybody anymore. Too much technology and not enough face to face interaction in this very different world than the one I grew up in. Thank for you support. pj

dschwartz 03/28/2015

You have my support PJ . . . and yes, the world has changed. It is forever evolving "change", which is not always easy to deal with in and of itself. We are as a society becoming more and more isolated, sometimes by choice, sometimes because we choose to. Either way, it is not healthy to be alone 24/7. We need other people, that is our purpose . . to share, help, be helped, support, talk, interact. I often wish we could go back to tribal days (even with their hardships), at least there was a sense of family and everyone knew and had a purpose to support the whole of survival. Even though we are not face to face here on DS, I truly sense this level of "tribal" connection here. It helps me tremendously. I hope you will feel the connection as well. Big hug, Dayna

matoacalady 03/28/2015

Most days, you folks are ALL I have.......

pj1952 03/28/2015

I had looked at the site for many weeks. About two days after I decided to join, I received the email from the therapist I contacted on this past New Years Eve in desperation. Perhaps it is that saying that when one door closes, another one opens. Glad I am here.

Thanks Dayna and also for the big hug. I certainly hope I don't have to continue this isolation forever and hope you don't have to either matoacalady.

dschwartz 03/28/2015

PJ . . none of us have to do this grief journey totally ""alone". Stay with us., We may not be face to face, but we are heart to heart as a family on DS. You have a wonderful support group here! xo, D

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