Newroads,
Yes, I live in the city but when I go out to work or do the necessary things I have to do, I always get that sick empty feeling the minute I turn onto my street. I think living on the cornor I get the feeling as I approach the house. Rene passed almost 9 months ago and it isn't getting any better. The house is so lonely and empty I hardly can stand it. I miss her every minute I am there.
The other strange thing is when I am away from home I want to be in the house as she made this our empty nest home and it was always so comforting to be there during the first 6 months but still and empty feeling. Don't understand the double feelings.
Peace to You,
Dave

I totally agree with you!! It is one of the most painful times in this grief process. Just walking into my home and knowing that Bob is not here to greet me with a hug.... ever again!!

Knowing I will be alone for the entire evening is totally depressing.

The emptiness is HUGE!!!

Hugs, Linda

I go through the same thing especially if I am away from home for days. When I approach the road to home I just break down. Geez, how long does this go on. I used to cry whenever I got into the car when I was caregiving for Rob. It was the only place I could let go and cry. I thought that was why but I guess it's coming home to the empty house. It's awful, I understand. Hug, Donna

This is a hard one to conquer.....it is something that we always took for granted. The feeling of coming home to someone in the house, made the day even better! I used to cry all the time when opening the door to come home and in the earlier days of this journey, I used to shout out....Honey, I'm home!
We had put timers on the lights inside the house and I still use them.
It just makes it a little easier to have lights on when returning back home.
This is such a sad journey for us all...take care,
Kate

I always leave the front porch light on, and the kitchen light. I don't like walking into a dark house, and walking through a dark house. We always kept the hall light on, so that 's the same. My husband had changed most of our lights to those new ones, that last longer, and it's better if they are kept on.
I also lock doors, that I never did before. As soon as I come in, I double lock the door. I lock the bathroom door, when I shower, and I lock the bedroom door when I go to bed. I live in a safe neighborhood, but never have lived by myself. I also had a home security system put in.
I think timers on the lights are a great idea.
Take care, and happy holidays.

I am lucky enough to come home to my 120 lb chocolate lab, Jake. He always greets me at the door and is happy to see me. Jake is getting almost 9 years old starting to show his age. I always talk to him and say "please don't die soon, I don't think I can handle it yet". That's a lot of pressure on old dog! He's a good cuddler too!

I'm with you - and I'm not as strong as you are, so, I'm selling the sad house and moving closer to my friends and my church. I will buy a smaller house or condo ...I'll take my 3 cats, and move to see if that helps...It is a lonely house, especially in the cold NE winter.

Yes, I live out in country too. I used to cry everytime on the way back to my quiet,lonely home. I always leave a light on so it wont be dark and I leave Christian music playing in my house,so it wont be so quiet and it feels good to know Gods word is being sang all through out my house while I am gone. I have just recently got to the point where I dont cry every single time. I still hate coming home...if Larry were here he would want to make sure I have something to eat, or just to greet me...and sometimes when I was coming in late he would put the Christmas lights on for me...didnt matter what time of the year it was...it our special little moment....him showing me love...how I miss him....

Yes, I really struggled with this one. Often, I sat and in the driveway and cried. It was so sad to walk in that door and not hear, "Hi honey" and see Davids beautiful smile. He always seemed so happy to see me. It was one of my hardest times. So sad to know noone was home and sadder yet to know noone was coming home.
I don't know exactly how or when but things slowly changed. It's been almost 22 mths for me now and often when I come home I breathe a sigh of relief and embrace the silence. Not always mind you but more often than not,

I too have double feelings. I installed a security system and it is always on. I love being in our home but I cry on the way to work and on the way home. The house looks so lonely. I find I don't want to be outside around the house only inside. I took for granted Wayne would wave goodbye to me every morning and be waiting for me when I came home at night. I am slowly getting rid of some things so I can downsize into a condo or something closer to work in the next few years. :( Sometimes the anxiety of being alone is overwhelming.

Yep, I'm with you. I have a yard light so it's not totally dark...but coming home to an empty house is really tough. I just try to get errands done and get home before dark. Hugs, Kathy

My situation is a lot different from the others here, yet there is a common bond. I was hit a few months ago when it was announced on the news that troops would begin leaving Iraq. Todd would have been coming home. I sometimes envy those with husbands that had a regular job and ask why Todd couldn't have been an accountant or a teacher...something safe. If that were the case...I would not have met him. His devotion to his country was something I had to deal with. peace...Kaaren

Also have the double thing going on...........Norm and I went almost everywhere together and often when I am in a store, I have to leave because the saddness just overwhelms me..........he drove most of the time............. and I remember the absolute desolation when driving home alone from the hospital after removing life support last Dec..........seeing all the Christmas lights, and realizing ........I am alone.......going home alone to a home without him there........now I set light timers on, and I do have the cats here......but life is not the same joyous thing it once was............
Lori

I Have the very same feelings driving home from work. It has only been 7 weeks and 5 days. I recently went back to work to try and get myself back into my old routine. What a fool I was, my routine, my old life is gone and no matter what I do it will never be the same. When I came home from work. (I work 3 12 hour shifts) My Joe would have dinner ready, he and our 11 year old daughter would be waiting for me. I never really had to worry about doing stuff after I got off work. He even massaged my aching feet and back. The first day of coming home was hard, I was emotional. But I find when I get off work I am doing okay all day at work, then when I get to the parking lot and inside my car the tears begin.(this happens every time I drive home from work) I now have to drive to my parents house to pick my daughter up and then we go home to an empty house. I hate that it gets dark early, the darkness reminds me of how alone we are without him. I turn on almost every light and the TV has to be on loud. I guess I try to drown out the silence.

I see from most of the comments that we all struggled with coming home to an empty house. I am 3 months into this walk and coming home is still the most difficult. I too have installed timers on inside and outside lighting. I was scared to the point of being out of my mind when coming into our home alone at night. Still don't like it but I am not in a panic state when I walk in now. I am in the process of installing a security system. I live in a small rural town and everyone around knows I am by myself so I am scared now more than I ever have been. I like the idea of Christian music being played. I think I will start that tomorrow. I never was scared of my own shadow like I am now. Everything seems to scare me or send me into a panic. I hate it. Our daughter is coming home from college for the holidays soon so I will have her company. (I got a double whammy in two weeks time....my only child leaves for college and my husband passes away) Oh am I soooo looking forward to someone to come home to or someone to come home to me.