Hi Tina, I say trust your gut on this one, but remain flexible. I remember not to long ago I purposely stayed home alone instead of running to my son, daughter in law, and the grandkids. I needed to face this grief headon and figure out what to do. Well, that is when I found this support group and I've been climbing my way out a deep hole ever since. For me, planning ahead is still a problem. I am far more comfortable just taking it one day at a time. I feel like doing or seeing someone on that day, that is what I do. If not, I've got you all. God bless you this day ~ Scott

Hi Tina. Glad u brought this up. I was pretty much thinking along the lines of your plans as well. My BFF from NJ insists that I NOT stay home as she thinks it will be worse. I say that I want to be in my home with my daughter and her bf among all of our cherished memories. I have to face it sooner or later. As of now I want to cook prob decorate etc. We always loved doing that. I know I'll cry but that is part of the healing process too. I just want to be in our home...I think...this is so new. I'm scared too
Love to you
Darcie

I do want to cook and decorate too.
In a way, Im fortunate that my husband never ventured into the kitchen or cooked, so I dont have memories of cooking with him.
He did love mashed sweet potatoes with marshmallows on them...
Do I make them and be super sad that hes not there to eat them?
or Not make them, and feel I am forgetting about him?

Kkg17.... Do YOU like sweet potatoes? If not...don't make them. If YOU do...then make them! He knows that you'll never forget him. No point in making food that's going to make u sad!
Good luck to all of us!
:)
Darcie

Thanks, Darcie.
Yes, I do like sweet potatoes, but I like them just in chunks with brown sugar and butter, not mashed with marshmallows. I always made them both ways! LOL
OK, with your permission, Ill just make them the way I like them. You are so right: he knows Im not forgetting him. Hell probably laugh from wherever he is, thinking There she goes, making them her way...
Hugs!

Tina- do you know some people who have no where to go on Thanksgiving? You could give them a lot of joy, and they would love your Thanksgiving cooking. Just a thought.

In my grief journey I sorted out holidays that I would acknowledge and those I really had no attachment for. I was left with Christmas and Easter. Those are the biggies for me and the rest means little. Those are the two times I get to spend a holiday with my dad and he is the only family that the kids and I have that really cares. Don't get all weepy over Memorial day or Columbus day folks.

Maggie

I have often thought of doing the same thing but my family won't let me be alone. Its nice of them I guess but sometimes I want to. I feel forced. So if you feel its the right thing to do for YOU then go for it. it must be what you need. thanks for the topic

I think you do what makes you comfortable. My husband was our cook and so I am probably going to eat with family since my son lives away and probably won't be here for Thanksgiving but will for Christmas.
I hardly cook at all but am trying to more now his cooking was the best so I can never compare. He made me promise to carry on and be happy and remember him always which I will do. He actually passed this July 22nd and was in hospital last Christmas and insisted we carry on and have Christmas with the grandkids and we did. It was very sad him not at the head of the table but as I look back now I think I was being prepared for what was to come this year. I am taking day at a time and deciding you don't have to plan ahead. Take care.