Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Cold hard slap

lost4heart
lost4heart
I can feel little pieces of myself returning to me. That I almost feel like "normal" me from my previous life. HAHA! Today I have been happy, trying new things, laughing, excited (about our puppy) and enjoying a beautiful day. I have had snippets of this possible happy me on and off during the last 2 weeks and I am so pleasantly surprised. I even dreamt of Mark in the way we were before he got sick. And as you all have probably experienced, when we see them so vividly we almost "carry" them with us for the next few days.

Then when I am at the happiest moment (relatively), feeling bubbly and excited, the most natural next thought is I want to share this with .....

And then it hits me again and again and again. Like a hard cold slap in the face.
ani79
ani79
Hi,

I always have a better day when I dream of her and understand when you say we "carry them with us for the next few days".

A friend told me a few weeks ago that "she is looking out for you". It helped. If it's true, He is looking out for you as well, don't be sad.
Community Leadercliffskat
cliffskat
I still talk to Cliff - I share with him whatever feel I want to. It feels better than just stuffing it away. I don't think he's hanging around all the time, but I do feel he comes by and can hear me. And he shows up in my dreams a lot, too.

We do carry them with us....

Love and Hugs,
Martha
tim57
tim57
You did share it with someone already. You and he shared that you are doing better. He came to you to help alleviate the pain. I really know what you mean about the feeling more normal for a few days.
Since Linda came to me, any time I am feeling down I just relive that afternoon she came to see me. I now don't just believe how she is I know from actually seeing her. I believe that's why God allows them to visit those of us who are having a particularly hard time getting thru.
Peace, Tim
lost4heart
lost4heart
Well it is a cold hard slap. That's progress too if I come to think of it. It used to be a punch in the gut that would leave me doubled over and hurling. Amazing that we can see this as progress. :-)
raininseattle
raininseattle
It really is progress.... when I felt sad sometimes it felt just as raw as the first day... but these days come further apart. The best way I can describe it is that we are given the tolerance to withstand these moments and to recover from it... and these waves are getting further apart. I still talk to my partner - surely hope that she heard me!
JesusisOurSaviour
JesusisOurSaviour
I recently spent 9 days, enjoying the Oceon. It's in my blood and Ben
Loved, loved the Ocean, too!.....as I was lamenting About how much I wished, Ben could be with me, sharing everything,........
My 9 year old granddaughter.....said," it's ok nana, Sabby, is in Heaven, enjoying even more beautiful Crystal Waters."
Wow, did that ever bring me to my senses!!"
Thanking God, for grandchildren.
Things will keep coming back, but I promise, you will savour those memories. They stay tucked in your heart and give you a sense of
Completeness .......hugs for you......Sandra