Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Christmas is Coming

calgaryhair
calgaryhair
Shopping yesterday reminded me how close the Holidays are. Even felt a little sad until I realized it really is up to me, myself and I. Do I want to be miserable, sad and cry all through the season? Or do I want to enjoy the music and gift giving and make it a very special Christmas? I have always been like a big kid loving everything about the Celebration of Christmas. So I have decided to still send cards even though they will be just from me. Still going to do baking and try a new recipe like I always do. Thank God for freezers! Still going to buy gifts and put up a tree with all the decorations. Invitations are starting to come to drop by for some Christmas cheer. I will accept each and every invite. If no one offers to cook this year I will put on the dinner. Ron has been gone for almost 10 months now and my gift to him this year is make the day as special as I possible can! They say to start a new tradition, that it will help. Not sure what that will be just yet but will make a conscience effort to make one. I have to get tough. This year being the first all my family and friends will want to care for me. But next year they will probably think I am over it now. If I slide a bit I know I can always read all the messages here. Still have my DS family.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings and don't forget to come back and tell us what your new tradition is. I'll be thinking of you....please think of me.

Love,
Roz
jenniferalves
jenniferalves
You are a stronger person then me, I have decided not to put up any decorations and just let the holidays pass. I will be spending Christmas Day with Danny's family. I love the fact they call me sister/daughter even though we never made it to our wedding day. Thanks for the wonderful post
carrie415
carrie415
I am also going forward with all the Christmas fanfare that we always didI know my husband would have it no other way, especially for our children and grandchildren. There will be a void at out large family dinner table, but I would guarantee there will also be a few funny stories about him that will all get a laugh out ofHe would be so proud of me to move forward at this holiday time..
billswifeval
billswifeval
Christmas has always depressed me. This year will be worse! I have been invited a few places but I think I should stay home as to not depress anyone else.
doyew
doyew
LOVE your positive "action plan" for Christmas. Anything positive helps us through this hard journey; however, the holidays can be really hard. My very best wishes to you - Doye
cgriff4ever
cgriff4ever
your husband would want nothing more than your happiness, and laughter to fill the air. I too am planning on keeping our tradition going, with maybe a shed off a tear or two, he would be cheering me on, for making it a positive rather than a negative... big hugs carla.. happy thanksgiving day..
silverfoxwife
silverfoxwife
The first year I put up the tree, left it up for a whole year. The 2nd year, I did nothing. Last year I put up a tree and this year I just put up the tree. I have not done cooking much and no longer have a large home to do so. I miss Christmas with my husband. He was the shopper I just followed him around the stores. He would buy everyone clothing, so predictable. Thinking about him makes me smile a bit. I did cry a lot as I was decorating the tree. He's not here to admire it or to tell I did a good job.
Community LeaderShrn
Shrn
Each must make the decision of what is best for them. Your plans sound wonderful. My first holiday was spent quietly with my thoughts, but I am now enjoying the grandchildren and their joyful laughter. Sharon
deleted_user
deleted_user
Christmas will be tough in 14 months I have lost my husband and my mother. Just feeling lost. I want to feel happiness and I try but sadness sometimes engulfs me. I am very grateful for the time I had with my husband and my Mom. I hope that 2016 will be a better year.
kkg17
kkg17
This will be my first Christmas without Marc. I decided that I am going to get a fresh, real Christmas tree instead of an artificial one like Ive been using the whole time i was married to Marc. He never wanted to spend the money for a fresh tree or have to go get it and put it up! (I dont blame him) A fresh tree will be different for me, so thats good. Ill put up the other decorations this year, and have a party for my neighbors.
I am gong to hire a caterer for the party, let guests help themselves to wine and booze from my husbands bar and wine cellar, and pay someone to deliver and set up the tree, since my husband isnt here to help.
Somehow I feel that this may be my last year for doing all this. Im still trying to run away from my shock of losing my husband I think. Next year I may question what is the point? This year, it gives me something to keep me distracted...