Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
The last month has been tough. Not so much because I reached the 2 year mark and my hubby's b-day but having my house go into "eminent default" and realizing that even though I'm working 2 jobs at close to 70 hours a week, for the first time in my life I don't feel I have much money to celebrate xmas - it will be different - and I hope not a big disappointment for the kids.
I lost my cell phone 3 wks ago and haven't replaced it. My friends all have my email - yet no one has contacted me. My friend across the street I haven't spoken to in 6 months - I'm tired of crossing the street to see her when she never comes to see me. Without a home phone at first it made me feel out of touch - but now I don't miss it. I use the kids phones now and then. Yesterday my daughter got a call from a "friend" of my husband's - have no clue how he got her cell number. I talked to this "friend" weeks after my husband died and suggested we get-together with another friend. Never heard from him again. Now I understand he's divorced and anxious to see me. Today I got an email from someone I thought was a close friend - she was one of the many who appeared to write me off 2 years ago. She asked how I was doing and said I was such a "precious" person. Two people in two days - both of whom I have not heard from for 2 years. I have not responded to either - don't think I will. I'm making more and more new friends - I no longer need to fight for the old.
Although I don't have much money - I went out and bought more out dooor lights today. Last night we bought a beautiful tree - $17 - and it is the best we've ever had. I put lights on ALL the outside bushes. I'm going to get a bulb for the outdoor Santa and got more garland for around the house.
I have all my xmas decorations around the house and I'm going to buy the cranium game - heard it was fun - as one of my xmas gifts - don't play games as a family much anymore but we will now. The kids know we're broke - and this could be our last year in our home. But I am looking forward to Christmas Eve and Christmas - I think it will be a good day.
I lost my cell phone 3 wks ago and haven't replaced it. My friends all have my email - yet no one has contacted me. My friend across the street I haven't spoken to in 6 months - I'm tired of crossing the street to see her when she never comes to see me. Without a home phone at first it made me feel out of touch - but now I don't miss it. I use the kids phones now and then. Yesterday my daughter got a call from a "friend" of my husband's - have no clue how he got her cell number. I talked to this "friend" weeks after my husband died and suggested we get-together with another friend. Never heard from him again. Now I understand he's divorced and anxious to see me. Today I got an email from someone I thought was a close friend - she was one of the many who appeared to write me off 2 years ago. She asked how I was doing and said I was such a "precious" person. Two people in two days - both of whom I have not heard from for 2 years. I have not responded to either - don't think I will. I'm making more and more new friends - I no longer need to fight for the old.
Although I don't have much money - I went out and bought more out dooor lights today. Last night we bought a beautiful tree - $17 - and it is the best we've ever had. I put lights on ALL the outside bushes. I'm going to get a bulb for the outdoor Santa and got more garland for around the house.
I have all my xmas decorations around the house and I'm going to buy the cranium game - heard it was fun - as one of my xmas gifts - don't play games as a family much anymore but we will now. The kids know we're broke - and this could be our last year in our home. But I am looking forward to Christmas Eve and Christmas - I think it will be a good day.
I don't understand when friends or family stay away...in my family I have some of the same issues. I can understand not being in their thoughts and gestures everyday, but when weeks and months go by...it makes it difficult. Me, I just lean on God even harder...
Tight hugs. Merry Christmas.
I hope you can find a little happiness with your children, and I am sure that being with you is more important than gifts.
I also am trying really hard to get in the spirit of the season, it`s like two years for me too, and its like people put a time limit on how I should feel, so the pressure is on. Keep warm, and keep reaching out - you have friends here! G-
It's interesting how a life crisis reveals to us who our real friends are and to our disappointment they are very few but those are the only ones worth keeping as friends.
Wishing you and your family a blessed Christmas!
You know, I remember growing up, many christmas was making up a game, with each other, and when my kids were little the same thing. And you know what? those were the best, and most memorable christmas' i ever remember. Greg and I always made gifts for each other, and they were the BEST gifts I have ever received.
when my kids asked me what I want this year? I said to them all "Love and respect'. If you have that, then you have it ALL.
I know you, and your outlook, is amazing. You know you are in my thoughts, and HOPING that something GOOD comes your way, because you DESERVE it too.
Merry christmas to you and your family. they and you being together, that says it all.
HUGS diane
I think you do have a wonderful attitude, despite your financial difficulties. Keeping you and your family in prayers.
Shar
My daughter was going to buy her boyfriend a hat he wanted that was $80. She's not getting close to the work hours she wanted and has kept asking for money for gifts - which I've given. (for the family mainly) So yesterday she sold her old IPHONE which doesn't work for $30 (to a store that can fix it) and she now plans to make her boyfriend a blanket from a kit - which I think will be about $25. She's very excited about the blanket idea now - says he has an old blanket he adores that he had as a baby and now she can make him another one to go with it. Guess she has the idea now.
Congratulations on making the best of what you have and know that your husband would be very proud of you
Hope you have a great Christmas........