Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Certain Things Will Never Be The Same

missinghim1985
missinghim1985
I knew when this happened I would never experience another Saturday the same way again. The 16th of every month would be my worst nightmare for the rest of my life, but I find other things are significantly harder than I ever dreamed. Like today...

Today is the last day of the month, the end of the month push at work is just about over (a few more hours to enter and I'm going home), but Chad won't be there to hug me and give me ice cream and tell me it's all done again and just cuddle on the couch and look forward to having his girl back for the next few weeks. I'll get home tonight and my best friend will be there, but he's not the same. He know's that, and I swear people would kill to buy a friend like this at a store somewhere. I long for the nights he'd be at home waiting for me, ready to take my stress from a million to zero in an embrace. I miss him today (well I miss him everyday but more today). I've been laser focused at work to get this done, and I know he enabled me to do that, but now the emotions are back and I'm longing to have him at home. Now I wait for Sunday so I can go spend a few hours at his gravesite sharing my week and my journal entries with him.
cgriff4ever
cgriff4ever
It's ok to feel the way you do. I know just when I think I'm having a good day, some sort of trigger, triggers those profound feelings of loss. There will never be a way for him to be here physically, but you remembering all those wonderful things about him, that keeps his memory alive. I know he is proud of you, and is hoping that someday the sadness will lessen....You are also an important part of our little circle, so never stop talking about him, and know in spirit he is in your heart, and will never leave you. Much love and hugs carla
deleted_user
deleted_user
I totally understand. I'm so glad that I didn't quit my job when I was supposed to. Glad that my mind is not allowed to wander all day long back to a time when life was so, so sweet.

Keep those memories that fill your heart and soul and let go of the painful ones that bring you down.

When Sunday comes, share your joy of living life with someone you truly loved and who love you back. When you leave and he's left behind just remember; you can close your eyes and bring him back to you whenever you want!!!!!

Roz
grievingguy
grievingguy
My wife was my best friend and lover. I can survive without the latter, but losing the friendship is very, very difficult. I'm not saying the physical intimacy wasn't important, but it surprises me that it isn't nearly as significant now as other aspects of our relationship. Think of it like an ice cream sundae. The friendship--having someone to share life with--is like the ice cream, chocolate syrup, and nuts. The physical intimacy was simply the cherry on top.

So, yeah. I really miss my friend, and I understand what you're going through, Missing.
tim57
tim57
Coming home everyday to emptiness, I will never get used to that. I am off from Thurs morning thru Sun night. It's becoming too much time off. Without her here it;s just empty time. But I have to remember she would want me to find some happiness with the rest of my life until time comes we are together again. I have to believe that. I will keep praying for us all.
Peace, Tim
rosie3435
rosie3435
it is that the emptiness...it consumes us...we want what we can't have..they are gone and we are here...it makes it difficult...we try to find things to do and for the moment they work...but there is always that vacant feeling...the memories are great but they are memories not what we need or want...just one more is what i want...but if i had one more would that be enough...i can say yes right now but i can't guarantee that...the heart yeans and yes i have learned it can break also..i never thought this would be my new normal my life after him...13 months today and it feels like yesterday that he was here..but he was not...and he will never be back again...but i will forever have him in my memories ...my broken heart will heal one day...and yes i may find a new love one day...but all in all he will forever be the one that i loved the most...