Hello Robert, I am feeling similarly. In First few weeks I felt nothing. Now, after about 11 weeks, the images and sounds of my wife start coming back. I feel more of her presence at times. These are all comforting. Thanks for sharing your experience. Tiger

I have no fear, whatsoever, of death... Part of me welcomes it. Then, I will be with my Wanda.

I'm not suicidal or anything, but I have no desire to be 70-80. I look at my parents and see how dreary their life is, not being able to do anything. It's enough for me to not want it for myself, especially if I am still alone.

Quality of "life" is a choice for each of us to make or determine. Live in fear or not fear? Whatever we choose to motivate us will. Whatever we intent and desire will become reality. The body follows the mind. Choose your thoughts wisely my friends. Do you want to live, or do you want to die? Hate to be so blunt, but that's a matter of fact reality. You can live to be 100, yet still be living "death" on earth without happiness. Or you can choose to live "life" while you have the time given. Quality vs quantity. The loss of our loved one was not our choice . . . but the continued life we are gifted is our choice of attitude. Own it.

Big round of hugs to all, xo, D

Ray and I talked about growing old together. We talked about age and what we thought we'd be able to do at certain ages..We are in our early 60's and both felt we could do most of what we'd always been doing. Ray one day was his normal self, the next not. We fought his bad heart for 6 mo. and thought his surgery would make him whole again. It didn't.
Now I have no fear, no fear of life or death. I will gladly handle what comes my way. Ray is with me, God is with me. I am still very sad/lonely and tears are always near. But they don't come as easily as they did not long ago.

Well said Dayna. Grief will challenge our desire to go on sometimes, but there are so many people we have the opportunity to impact in a positive way each and every day, some of those opportunities are present every day, others are yet to come, in ways we could not even imagine right now. When the fear of death is removed, our fear of living is also removed. Once we understand that death is only transition, we can confidently go about living our lives in a way that makes our spouses proud. I certainly can understand what you are feeling Master. Though it will still hurt to be without her, try to apply that fearlessness to living for her, and all who love and care about you here on this Earth. I try to put myself in Sharry's place. If she were left here grieving, what would I say to her. I would so want her to smile, laugh and live well until the day we are reunited. I would want her to heal from her grief, and remember that I live as surely as she does, in a place where grief has been destroyed once and for all. Living well again here, is also our opportunity to give grief a nice big middle finger salute, one it so richly deserves after what it has put us all through.
Hugs and my best to you all;

Robert

For me,I don't fear dying if it's for what I believe in or if I were to give my place here to another...
But if I am stuck here anyway for the time being, I will try to do things to make it worth it.
I know many here don't see me often,but life gets in the way when you go for it.
I went back to school/college, raced a Dragon boat, defied some of my life long fears and plan on more. I have picked up my art pencils and brushes, even selling a few. The same with my camera. Also made several long trips on my own, once even traveling all the way around Lake Mi ,on a trip to see Mr. Two Rivers.
I'm coming up on three years next week, and I won't lie it still can bring me to my knees in tears at times. But I have more friends now thanks to DS that are there to help me back up and carry on, carry forward and prevent hari-cari. Thanks to those special ones here
i couldn't have made it through the sludge of those first months here alone without. them.

What a really beautiful song....I had not heard that one before...and its crazy that the thing that had been worrying me again comes in a song....Just the word erase...had brought me sadness as in thinking every move forward meant I was erasing my husband.....having a few days here with my grandson who was the oldest but still to young to remember his grandpa but old enough now to ask me tons of questions..he doesn't remember ever being here in my home...this is the home where his grandpa played with him.... he took his first crawl here etc etc... in my room over my bed are two pictures of us my husband and I ...and in the middle is his flag...My grandson wants to know why he isn't here with me...why is he in heaven...why he isn't coming to see him... as I answer each question I realize I am keeping a piece of him...me ...us alive in a good way ..not a sad way either.... thank you again!!!