Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I lost my husband to cancer 6weeks ago tomm, he was diagnosed and 9 months later was gone. We went through chemo. radiation, bloodclots and numerous other problems. We thought he would beat it but I guess it wasn't meant to be. Some days I feel okay and then all of the sudden I am either mad or crying. I made a promise to him that I would get on with my life but it is the hardest thing to do.
Yeah, cancer is a tough issue. I'm sorry for your pain. I've never personally had to deal with this type of illness. However, I've had people I love to go through it. Some beat it, some, unfortunately, don't make it. What matters is that you and your husband put up a fight and fought the good fight together.
Best of the world to you. My husband has passed on as well. I know your feelings and thoughts today. Hugs and much love to you. Your husband is always nearby and he will help you in mysterious and unbelievable ways to feel his love. I know this is true.
we are with you, we are you, we have been there and here
....it is the hardest thing to do for sure
please keep pushing the keys on your keyboard.
Tyedye66 you kept the promise to him
Now
we can help you keep the promise you made to Life ......
I also lost my husband to cancer.
His/our battle lasted 3 1/2 years.
He battled through a lot, as your husband did.
And as we did, right along with them. Never letting go of that hope that he'll beat it, and be ok.
Now their suffering is over. But ours has just begun.
I agree, this is the hardest thing I've ever done, in my life.
You will have to give yourself time. The grief willsoften after a good deal of time. But it'll still be there, and sneak up unexpectedly.
Give yourself the time to grieve. There is no way around it.
I'm a yr and 9 days in...
Some days feel like that first week.
There are easier times. You won't realize till you have an ok day, and think back at the end, hey, it was an ok day.
Just take it slowly. Be gentle with yourself. There's time for all that other stuff after your heart heals some. That's what the hospice grief counselor tells me.
Keep talking to people here. They understand. That's not easy to find in daily life.
Wishing you peace. Know that they are still with us.
Hugs,
Tess
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my beautiful husband 97 days ago. We had battled illness for around 12 years but the last 8 were the hardest. He was in and out of hospital, surgeries, treatments, dialysis, specialist appointments. I look back at photos and it hurts me how hard he suffered to battle to stay in a broken body. Because we knew he was sick, the one good thing was that we did not take time for granted. We loved, laughed and lived. We filmed a lot and we told each other often how happy we were in our lives and how much we loved each other. I think his illness brought is closer in the suffering. Take solace in that they no longer suffer or are in pain. Instead they are at peace and are with us always.
Praying for healing for you and peace x
Hang in there. I am waiting for the rainbow at the end of the storm that so many habe written about.
For me, the crushing pain and sorrow hits and I have to move. I walk the dog or pace my house and ball my eyes out until my head hurts and I have to take a sinus pill to stop that throbbing.
It is crazy, like you said!! during it and once it has passed, I think, how can this still be happening? How can I still be this bad? And if someone is around me at the time, I get the feeling they really don't understand why it is still happening.
I try to think of life as a balance, if I eat too much (and I do at times unfortunately) I have to move or reduce calories to offset it.
For 26 years I had the love of my life at my side and had so many great days and hopes for the future and now that life is gone. I almost feel like I am offsetting that with intense sorrow and pain to achieve some kind of equilibrium so I can move forward.
That probably makes no sense to anyone but me, however it is the only way I can self-rationalize my crazy emotions and have hope I will get through this and the emotions make some sense in context of my journey.
Best wishes to all as we start another day - Someone said - when you find something that makes the pain lighter or makes you smile today, share it with someone and use it to remember you are going to get through this!
joe
There will be a lot of those days. I call them cocooning. I just have to ball up and let it move through me. Nothing else matters on days like that.
Hugs,
Tess