Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
So Ive been thinking of buying a house near my family because I'm currently renting an apartment, but its SO hard, and stressfull and scary doing this alone. The first time I did this was with Wayne, and it was fun and when I was indecisive about something HE would make the decision. But when I lost him and had to sell our home and move closer to my family I had to rent an apartment. I've lived here over a year now and decided I like being close to them and can afford a home for the same amount as my apt. Some days I feel like I will be proud that I can do this alone, but most days I just feel lonely having to do this alone. It's not fun, or exciting and it's hard to decide. I wish he could tell me what to do, or which house is best. I'm scared to pick one. What if in a few months i don't like it any more? I never felt like this about the house we built together.
That's another problem. We Built our first home. Colors, tiles, rooms, floors, everything brand new, just how we wanted it. I can't afford to do that alone. But I was spoiled. So now it's harder.
Sometimes I wonder if this means I'm not as ready to buy a house as I thought?
That's another problem. We Built our first home. Colors, tiles, rooms, floors, everything brand new, just how we wanted it. I can't afford to do that alone. But I was spoiled. So now it's harder.
Sometimes I wonder if this means I'm not as ready to buy a house as I thought?
barbarame
You can do this. You are not an idiot and can think, chose and decide things all by yourself! Make the place a haven of peace and serenity....because you can. Big girl panties now! Let us know exactly how it all goes (Maybe in your Journal here?) You will be proud of yourself every step that you take. ((HUGS))
handg
I think that while you can do this all by yourself , you can also have moral support there along with you and even someone to bounce your like and dislike or concerns with. A family member can do this with you when it comes to house hunting. Before taking the plunge you could also go to Open Houses in the neighborhood you like and get a feel for the type of houses in your price range that you could see your self considering living in. Don`t be afraid to ask Wayne to guide you in this difficult time. Also remember that while you can afford the house in a price range that is similar to your apartment, a house that you own will have much added cost to it monthly. Money for taxes, money set aside for repairs and updates.. If you do maintenance yourself you will still need the tools to do so. Hiring the proper people if you don`t. Just food for thought. What ever you decide I wish you luck. XOXO
Myne2
Yes, this is scary but you can do it! Here are a few words of unsolicited advise from me. Work with a realtor that represents just you, not the seller. Realtors are obligated to disclose if they are working for the seller as well and while they can represent you as well, my past experience has been that when the chips are down (and this is not slamming the realtor) their first obligation is to the seller. Keep in mind that the cost of a home is more than the monthly house payment. Taxes and insurance need to be considered, as well as utilities and maintenance. Take a look at your budget and decide what you can afford. Just because lending agencies and realtors indicate that you can manage a certain monthly payment, you need to make the final decision so that you are not house poor. I know that this may sound like a lot to consider, but doing your homework in advance will help to put you in the driver's seat. You can do this!
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