Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Well here I sit an emotional wreck tonight. I finally came to the wall that you all knew I would hit and you even tried to warn me. Nope I thought I was stronger and that things were going good and that I had control of this stupid thing called emotion.
Nope not even close, and it took another death to trigger it all. My wife's best friend passed away yesterday morning. This is the lady that was Meredith's roommate when we first started dating. Who no matter what every time we went back home to the Kankakee, IL area she had to go visit.
Not even three months since Meredith's death and she passes also. I had to tell my kids last night who called her Aunt Mel even though she was not a blood relative. Lets say that went over like a concrete brick in the ocean.
So I lost it telling them and they lost it with me and it was one big freaking cry fest and then we talked. I called off work today to stay home with them as they were out of school today. We talked for most of the day and learned where we all are at for real in dealing with the loss of Meredith.
Now I sit again listening to songs that are making me cry with each one that plays because man it feels good to let go. I realized I was not doing good I was on auto pilot still numb from her death and moving because I had no choice. Not because I was strong enough to do it but because I was to weak to hit the brakes.
Hope that made sense.
Nope not even close, and it took another death to trigger it all. My wife's best friend passed away yesterday morning. This is the lady that was Meredith's roommate when we first started dating. Who no matter what every time we went back home to the Kankakee, IL area she had to go visit.
Not even three months since Meredith's death and she passes also. I had to tell my kids last night who called her Aunt Mel even though she was not a blood relative. Lets say that went over like a concrete brick in the ocean.
So I lost it telling them and they lost it with me and it was one big freaking cry fest and then we talked. I called off work today to stay home with them as they were out of school today. We talked for most of the day and learned where we all are at for real in dealing with the loss of Meredith.
Now I sit again listening to songs that are making me cry with each one that plays because man it feels good to let go. I realized I was not doing good I was on auto pilot still numb from her death and moving because I had no choice. Not because I was strong enough to do it but because I was to weak to hit the brakes.
Hope that made sense.
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Old Hillbilly Wisdom:Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.Keep skunks, bankers, and politicians at a distance.Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.The best sermons are lived, not preached.If you don't take the time to do it right, you'll find the...
they happen because we are already fragmented now.
There is nothing wrong with a good cry. Let those tears flow. Releasing all the pain is sometimes the only way to start feeling a smidgen better. I have also learned that if I allow myself enough time and tears in private, I am a little less likely to shed them somewhere else- at work, at the store, etc... It gets a little awkward when you are crying in public a lot.
I am thinking of you.
I rode up to Tennessee with my uncle today. Going thru the areas above Birmingham Al. there were reminders of when my wife worked home health care in that area. I withdrew and went numb as to not loose it. These catalysts are everywhere. Can't really guard against them. Take care.
Peace, Tim
My sons and I tried to hide our hurt and crying from each other, and it didn't help. It wasn't until we trusted each other enough to cry together that we started to accept and understand our individual losses and our collective loss. Sometimes I think the 3 of us are like old soldiers who have been in the trenches together - we've been through hell and back, but we are closer through the experience. If that makes sense....
Like others here, I did develop a way of compartmentalizing my grief when necessary. I set aside time everyday to cry, pray, cuss at the universe, whatever. Sometimes it helped me hold it together at work or elsewhere if I could tell myself that I would let it all out later.
Again, I am sorry for this new loss while the loss of your wife is still so raw for you all. Sending you all
Love and Hugs,
Martha