Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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D.Jay 03/31/2018

My best friend and wife Jennifer passed away last October 27th. Sometimes I think I am doing pretty well and then there are days where I have such sadness, anger, and general heartbreak with so many tears throughout the day. We are planning a celebration of Jennifer's life on her 51st Birthday on April 27th. I am looking at so many pictures from the past many years and I want everything to be perfect to honor her.. I miss her so much everyday and and spring was always a magical time for her and the flowers. My pain is Relentless at times and I just hate it......... I am still in love with Jennifer. I have gone to some support groups. I bought some nasturtium seeds today because Jennifer always loved those out around the border of one of the beds in the front yard. I will be planting wildflowers and sunflowers in the back flower beds as that will be low maintenance, beautiful and I can sit back and enjoy the beauty while feeding the bees and knowing Jennifer will appreciate that. My rational mind knows that Jennifer wants me to live my life and be happy again. That knowledge does not help ease the pain.... I miss her physical presence so much..

Msbklyn 03/31/2018

Your efforts at honoring and remembering your wife are such a beautiful tribute to the love you shared and continue to share. That love does not stop when they die. I too, am still in love with my husband. The fact that they are not with us to share the love is so heartbreaking. The deep sadness and pain has eased a bit for me. Yesterday was 2 1/2 years since he's been gone. It doesn't seem so long. The tears still come but not as often nor as hard. I have not really looked at many photos, I feel like that would be too painful. I hope that your celebration of life brings you comfort.

StephenM 03/31/2018

I’ve only been on this journey about two months longer than you. Dana died in early September at age 52. If you’re still cycling through sadness, anger, and all the rest, you’re doing it right. These tributes you plan sound like the perfect way to remember and celebrate what she was/is to you. We’re early in this journey and in many ways, I believe it's a chapter that won’t ever really end. And that’s ok. Grief is not something to get over or past, but rather something to get on with. I wish you peace as you travel what promises to be a bumpy road for a while.

cathy71 03/31/2018

My grief is still pretty raw I look at my photo's daily just to see his face . The way you are planning to honour your wife is lovely and I hope to be able to find the strength to do a similar thing for Don soon.

Mas63 03/31/2018

I also think it's a beautiful tribute to your wife. I believe when our spouses die we do not fall out of love with them. They did not leave us willingly. My husband passed about 19 months ago at 48. I'm still very much in love with him today. My hope is that all of us can honor our loved ones, someday, by living. Just know that we are all here for you.

cliffskat 03/31/2018

People die, but love doesn't. I am sorry it hurts so much. I know that deep sorrow too well. I couldn't even look at photos for months. I couldn't listen to the music we shared. I couldn't watch the tv shows we watched together. Just everything seemed too painful. Eventually, I became stronger and the pain started to recede - not disappear - I'm not sure that's entirely possible - but the pain no longer has the upper hand, and my memories make me smile instead of cry.

Your plans with the garden sound absolutely lovely. I think it's a great idea. It is like her beauty will continue to live on.

Wishing you brighter days...

Love and Hugs,
Martha

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