Michele ,
All I can tell you is I often feel the same way
But sometimes it hurts more than others.Just know you are not alone. Lisa

Oh how well I can relate to your post! We must remember to keep moving forward. We can have our times to grieve, cry and wish for and think about but we must know that we are not alone. Others have walked this path before us and can impart wisdom for us to take stock of. You are not alone. Sending you hugs, love and light during your painful times.
-Becca

Yup . . I'll echo Lisa's post. I think we've all been where you are today. I know I have been. Can someone just clone me or take over? Just for a day, maybe even just an hour? What a wonderful fantasy. Just that, a fantasy. We will and can take care of ourselves, we learn to if we never learned this before. It's part of the learning curves in grief. Not easy, but do-able. Your raw grief right now is normal. Let it out girl, let the tears flow . . .it's okay. We're here. Remember the quote . . "this is the price of love". Yes, your heart is broken. I don't know when it will mend, but we can heal ever so slowly. One day, one breath at a time. Hang in there with us . . we're here. Hugs, D

Michele,
Trust me a Broken Heart, can heal. It can take what feel like forever, you will be left with scars, but in time healing can happen.
I know it's hard...but be sure we are here, to "listen" and care,
Love.........from Sandra

This is a long dark road we are on...with twists and turns all around us...I keep looking for the Light...it is out there... prayers
Heather

My heart goes out to you Michele. I too feel like I want to die and have all of this over with. I always had someone to take care of me....parents first and then my husband. Now there is absolutely no one. You have family. Can you tell them how you feel? Maybe a son or daughter could help a bit. It won't be the same but even if you could have help with the legal or financial stuff it might help a tiny bit. Hugs, Darlene

I am struggling for something to say that will help. I could give the advice I've been given. Talk to someone, get therapy, do what you want now, just have lunch with someone, etc. BS! If there was an easy pill a lot of us would probably take it. I know I would! Go ahead and be selfish now. Know that you are not crying alone.

Michele:
I am sorry that you are going through this. What you are feeling is totally normal. At first I just wanted to wake up from the nightmare. Broken hearts do heal, it takes time and a lot of work. The fault lines and cracks remain, but it does get better in due course.

Hugs,
Val

Dear Michele, my heart hurts for you. All of us have a broken heart. You are not alone.

Please call your doctor, maybe a temporary antidepressant will help. (I took an antidepressant for 6 months, to get over the worst of times), get an appointment with a therapist, find a grief support group, lean on your family and friends, let people help you.

You're not being selfish, it's time you take care of yourself.
I promise, it will get better.

Hugs,
Janie

Michele, I feel the same way as you do. I've pretty much fallen apart..the inside of my home looks like a tornado went through it...I can't even muster up the motivation to do the dishes...I do get out every day, but much of the time the motivators are cigarettes, weed and any other pill I can get my hands on...my husband, as much as I love him and hurt because he's not here, was a drug addict...which is what led to the condition that killed him. All the times that I yelled at him, threatened to leave, etc. I wish I could take back and not waste the time arguing with him over his substance abuse...it was part of him, albeit not the most pleasant part...Now I'm descending into the same behaviors...smoking lots of weed and taking handfulls of Tylenol #3...the worst part is, I have an autistic son to care for. While I do make sure his basic needs are met, as well as reassuring him that he is loved, it can't be good for him to see me crying and/or stoned all of the time. To the outside world, I have to give the impression that everything is tickety boo, or the social workers will descend on us like locusts, and make things even worse...sorry for ranting. And I'm sorry life sucks so badly for us. Its not fair, losing our husbands like this. Everything reverts back to the question, 'WHY'?

Michele,

You have said what I have been feeling for the past 8 months. Thank you for having the courage to write the words I couldn't. I am so sorry but Know you are NOT alone. I have been told "things get better" But I don't think thats the case. I've lost loved ones before in my life and NOTHING compares to this. Its horrible. I have days where I can get up and do what needs done in the house but otherwise i am mearly a robot going through the motions in a fog of heartbreak and loss. I feel sometimes that Im being punished in the worst possible way. We will take this journey together we have no choice so we might as well shoulder the burdon as friends. Take care as best you can

Lisa

We didn't know that morning the pain the day would bring, when a golden heart stopped beating and we couldn't do a thing. No words can heal the heartache, or stop a silent tear or take away the memories of a man we love so dear. Your resting place we visit, the flowers we place with care, but nothing compares to the pain we feel when we turn and leave you there.

The internal pain will gradually ease, but will be replaced by a different sort which is not so hurtful, so that you can start a "new" life. My wife of 55 years went to a better place in March, and even though that seems months ago, I still sometimes just lie down on what was her bed and sob. I have a belief that we will meet again when I pass away. You will also meet your loved one again. Just believe in that and it will help your current anguish.