I am so sorry you are having to go through this. You are still very early in this journey, normal is something that's hard to imagine at this point. Cry if you need to, be kind to yourself, take it one day at a time. I don't think the hurt ever completely goes away, but it does get more manageable. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Thanks Suzie. I know this takes a long time to just adjust, let alone feel normal. We are all in this together and it's so comforting to know others who are going through the same hurt, take the time to lift others. Love this site

Just reading your words that are so heartfelt, and now thinking that we really are not alone in life...someone else is feeling the same brokenhearted sadness. Thoughts and prayers of family, friends, and neighbors are helping me to get through each day and night. But this first month of widowhood has left me emotionally and physically drained. Yet, I'm trying to keep the faith...blessings to you.

Judy, I hear you. I really try to keep up the hope that all will be ok....someday. But that hurt, and wanting to make it stop. Even for just a little bit.

It's the one thing we all want. My hopes that we all get there. and the hurt STOPS for all of us.

Until then all the HUGS you need anytime you need them!

Diane

My grieving is 'settled in' and I'm now 'old hat' at it but it was so much like a roller coaster at times. I would feel I was making progress and, whoosh, all of this pain seemed to rain down upon me from nowhere and I was, what felt like, back at square one.

It is a process and being with good support helped me to survive and still does. I am just so very thankful for our DS support groups as they have helped me to grow in so many ways.

I will keep you in my thoughts.
:-) Patricia

Sometimes it's one step forward, two steps back. If you can, take some time this week-end to allow yourself to wallow in it. I used to watch sad movies since I sometimes had trouble crying. That would help me and it would be cathartic. I would also just write my feelings out in a stream of consciousness with no worry about spelling or making sense.

Also try to do something that feels good--even if it's just eating chocolate. Taking a walk or getting a massage are two of the best things you can do for yourself.

I know the pain gets overwhelming and scary at times. You will not always feel like this. The intensity lightens. Instead of bad weeks you might have a bad day once a week, and then once a month. The sorrow never completely leaves, but it gets much more manageable. Praying your burden will lighten. Hugs, Amy

Judy, I lost my Bob 6 mo. ago on the 24th. 2 mo. after being diagnosed with cancer. Normal is not a word in my vocabulary anymore. I think different is more like it. Normal was before Bob got sick. Now for me its just a beautiful past, and I am different. When I will stop being different I dont know. But having lived through this, normal is probably out of the question. I do think through this I will still have happy times, and I hope you will too, just not the same normal that we had and so desperatly miss. Hold on and keep coming here, we will all get through this together.

Nan

This is such a lovely website group to offer words of comfort to those of us who feel like our whole world has been turned upside down. Just take it one day/hour/minute at a time...and know that you are not alone. Somehow we will manage, God willing. Maybe because it's been only one month since my husband of 48 years passed ( I must be the oldest person here?), the reality of my loss comes and goes. At times, I wonder "what on earth am I saying or writing?"...it just seems unreal to me...and it's not easy. But to share one's feelings here, that's similar to therapy, right? Even though my friends, neighbors and family have said "call any time, even if it's 4 in the morning", I feel embarrassed and would never do that. "Normal hours" are better, while late nights seem more lonely...anyone else have that problem?
Blessings to all, Nancy

OH Judy I remember those same words I wrote, and feelings I felt.

AND I still have some days when I want to stop what I am feeling but after this yr it is getting better. Not great - but more bearable....
Do not beat yourself up, what you are feeling is normal at this time....
I will say a prayer to ease the pain HUGS

Judy this is so hard...the pain of losing our soulmates cuts with a knife and we struggle with what happens now and where do we go from here. Know we are here for you and praying that we all get through this and have some peace and joy in our lives again. The pain does get less intense so be gentle with yourself and take one day at a time. Sending you healing hugs. Lu Ann

(((hugs)))

judy, please know that what your are experiencing is very normal. The first few months are so back and forth and tear-filled they should be referred to as The Widow's Waltz. On the 24th of August it will be eight months for me. I can only assure you that it does get more stable as you go on day by day. Know that all of us will be here when the rough patches arrive.

love,
Carla

I just went through the same feeling. It lasted about a week and then became less intense. I am sorry you are hurting. I wish I had words to help. All I can say is keep talking to us and we are here for you. HUGS to you.

so sorry for your loss and i completely understand. i keep telling myself i want my life to be back to normal but i don't know what that is either. i lost my hubby in may. we never expected him to die as he was responding to treatment so it is very difficult. i take one minute at a time and i don't expect too much of myself because when i do i get so overwhelmed i can't stand it. i never realized how much there is that i don't know how to do. and my hubby would say to me over the past few years, what are you going to do when i'm gone. and i would tell him you're not going anywhere so i am not worried. never thought i would be here.
right now i am going through a grief recovery program. it is very helpful and i have assignments i complete each week. this process is going to help me recover, if that is even possible. i feel like it is really helping me to understand grief and that it is ok to be sad. our society does not teach us anything about death and dying and it is an absolute shame that we don't have any way of knowing what to do. good luck. hugs

Hugs to you. The grief journey is unpredictable. Some days I feel upbeat, some days I stay home and cry all day. I don't think there will ever be a normal day as when my husband was alive. I know I have to develop a new normal day. Don't know when that will happen. I take just one day at a time. I get my Daily Strength (when it is a good day) from reading everyone's story. Also, I am attending bereavement group sessions which really help. My only advice: tears help so let them flow. Talk helps so find friends who understand. Time heals, so be patient. I'm not healed yet, but I feel sure it will happen some day.

Judy much luv and prayers to you I am at 9 months and as other have said one day at a time. at work I just keep keeping busy and look forward to getting home to my son. as you have encouraged me I do so to you hang in there I don't think any of has that answer to when the pain stops, I am here for ya!