Change your routine. Shoot jugs of water. Whatever it takes.
Have a walk outside. Sometimes getting rid of that pent up energy helps.

What energy, that to is non-existent.

I am sorry that your pain is so raw.
You are doing better than you feel.

Have you been taking care of yourself physically?
Do you have a routine during the day to keep busy?
Are you able to have a good night's sleep?

Having said that, 3.5 mth is still pretty short in the grief journey. There are a lot of issues you have to work through in grief. Grief itself is emotionally charged and zaps your energy a lot.

I understand how you see this message, but that's not what I mean. If the body isn't taken care of, then it is a monumental task to fight both the body and the spirit.

I'm just trying to see if there is a way to get Rick to turn around for one day.

Yes,eating and sleeping and some exercise. I'm afraid this all from the neck up, or heart and brain, and maybe soul.

I would encourage you to read this blog, and see if any speaks to you.
http://www.myspouseisdead.com/2008/

Met, it would be a sight to see a tongue sticking out face. The only creature doing that to me so far is the Canadian geese, when I roam close to their territory. When that happens, I walk even closer to them (with love, of course) and show'em who is the real boss.

Thanks rain, and if I read that (in a week) , I would have to think. If I had to think, I would have feel. Don't really want to do either.

Take it in small doses. It is not an exam. You don't need to cram it.
The writer has a persona like yours - a bit rickorous, I would say. I don't want to pretend to know what you need on a given day to unlock some happiness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OT1HCQcSHW0