Kim,

You don't have to get rid of anything until you feel you are ready.

I gave some things to friends of my husbands pretty soon because I wanted them to have something that was his.

Everybody has good days & bad days, but holidays & special occasions are always tough, no matter who you lose.

Don't beat yourself up for bad days - Monday, my 16 year old had a melt-down & then I had one, too. They happen. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.

In the meantime, everybody here sends hugs & prayers your way.

Loretta

Kim,
You do not need to get rid of your husband's things. They hold memories for you and are precious. Do not listen to anyone else about his things. You can take care of them when you are ready and not a moment before. Do not give everything away now. There is no rush and someday, you will want some of these items since they bring back such wonderful memories.
Right now, every memory hurts and you might think it will stop if the items are gone. No, it won't. The pain is from being ripped in half, not from something that reminds you of him. Eventually, these things will bring back good memories. That takes a lot of time but you want his things there when that happens. Then and only then can you make good decisions. Now it not that time.
As you know, material things are meaningless. They can sit and wait until you are ready. My neighbor who lost his wife 20 years ago said to not make any major decisions for at least a year. There is no rush. Take care of yourself. That is the most important thing you can do now. Everything else can wait. Tell people who want to get rid of his things or make other changes in your life to go away. If they want to help, they can sit with you and talk about your husband and cry with you. That is what you need right now.
I wish you peace,
tom

You are doing the right thing by sharing your feelings on this website. As everyone has said, you do not need to get rid of your husband's things unitl your ready. Its okay to cry, each tear is testament to how muich you love your husband and each tear is healing. Yes things get easier to deal with - but there is always the sadness of loss. My husband passed on a little over a year ago and I am doing well but miss him. I can say that I am now comfortable being home alone and that I actually treasure the solitude when I can cry if I need to, read and meditate and find serenity.

Dear Kim

At only two weeks into the widow's journey, you are probably doing better than many of us at that point. Taking part in your family's Thanksgiving must have been painful, but you did it.

That you spent much of today in tears also seems right on target. You are so very early in your grief. It is perfectly normal to have strong emotions and it is very healthy to acknowledge and express those feelings by crying, getting angry, feeling guilty and thinking that you'll never get through this. You will, and it will get easier as the white-hot pain of today eases.

In the meantime, you have found the very best place to be. Everyone here has experienced every kind of pain and suffering related to losing a beloved spouse. Each of our stories is our own, but we also share a whole lot in common and can help you deal with the stages of grief.

Come here often, day or night, crying, ranting, confused or with any other conceivable feeling, and we will understand, support and comfort you. I am thankful that you found DS and that I am one of many here who welcome you.

Juanita

Kim,

You are so early in this journey. I agree you did very well going to Thanksgiving.
I want you to make YOU the most important person in the WORLD. It is all about you right now and for a VERY LONG TIME.
I am trying to take this thinking on myself. We all take care of everyone and no one takes care of us. Well,, it is about TIME.
You are in my prayers along with all my dear friends here.

Peace to you
Dually

So sorry your husband has passed away. This is ever so new to you, and I know how difficult it is especially so close to the holidays. It will get easier as times go on and you will always miss him but the hurt will lessen in time to come. The items that belong to your husband, you will get rid of them in due time. There is no rush and you may want to keep certain things. Take your time and give yourself time to heal. My sympathies are with you.

Thank you all for your comforting & encouraging words, its a breath of fresh air to express my feelings to people that truly understand what Im going thru, im feeling alittle better now my daughter took me out of the house for awhile to eat dinner but shes leaving shortly for the eveing so I feel the sadness creeping up on me again & I will probably be awake with all the lights on until she gets home, Im having alot of insomnia lately & its worse when Im alone, but shes young with her own life & I cant expect her to stay home everynight with me so I guess I need to find some way to cope with being home alone, any suggestions?

Hi always, that being home alone is for the birds. I remember those days and sleepless nights. Awful. I felt the same way that my 22 year old son then 19 should not be home sitting around with me, but should be going out on Friday nites with friends. I would be awake until he came home since now someone was in the house then. I would come home and come straight into my room and only feel comfortable around the house when someone else was here. I was fortunate enough to have lots of friends. One even came over every night for two weeks after Robert passed because she knew nighttime was difficult for me. If you go out in the evening maybe that will tire you out enough to be able to come home and get a little sleep even with the tv on if that helps.

I cannot say it all better than the excellent advice you already rec'd from others. I can say however that yes, it does get less painful one baby step at a time.
....The roller coaster ride of losing half of you....I so wish so many didn't have to go through this too. You HAVE come to the right place because here so many understand.

It has been over three and a half years for me and I don't know what I would have done without DS and all of the people walking the same walk.

Remember to breathe and be especially kind to yourself...okay...
hugs..
-Diana