Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Back to school night

Kateydid123
Kateydid123

 Tonight was back-to-school night for my 11-year-old girl. I can't believe my wife and I were just talking about this night just a couple months ago.  We were so excited for her going to a new campus and all. Tonight was just awful!  I was looking around at all the happy husbands and wives with their little ones. I could feel they were all staring at me  because most of them knew my wife very well. As I walked my daughter through the hallways to greet her teachers,  I just wanted to cry.  Can you picture a man crying at a middle school  function?  It's been a little over a month and a half now and I have to return to work next Monday.  I don't know if I can handle this emotionally. Tracey  always said I was the strong one and she always felt safe leaning on me and actually I always felt  good about that. Now that she is gone, I realize how much I actually leaned on her. We were such a team.  I have other post on this site  and I guess I  just seem to ramble on,  but I seem to be getting worse not better.  I've said this before but I can actually feel Tracy's head resting on my chest at night time, it's so weird! I love you my little redhead!

Msbklyn
Msbklyn
My heart is with you and I feel your pain of that moment. I remember so many moments of thinking I wasn't going to be able to hold back the tears. And sometimes I don't . It's so difficult and so very lonely. At a month and a half I was just beginning to cry and not feel numb. You need to allow yourself to express and release all of your emotions. I tried to avoid it as I think I was afraid of the pain. At almost 2 years I'm ok a lot of the time but it still creeps up on me and I do still have a bad day occasionally. Going back to work was a lifesaver for me. It kept me busy and centered. It's not easy as people are not sure how to handle us. When they ask how you are doing try to answer with something like ok so far today so they get that it's a day to day thing. Maybe they will catch on. I wish you peace. Marybeth
cgriff4ever
cgriff4ever
The fact that you can talk about what you are feeling, is an example of trying to accept the unfortunate reality that our soulmates are not here with us physically anymore. Theyre spirits are always here, though. I use to lay on my husbands shoulder, and he found such contentment with me falling asleep, he would almost tease me, because I am not one who would normally fall asleep in that position, but the feeling of contenment was also felt on my part as well. It takes alot of energy for a our loved ones to help us, and be here with us spiritually. I do believe that you are experiencing your wifes presence, and feel the comfort in that. Just take one our at a time. It doesnt ever really get easier, you just learn to accept the fact that they arent here with us physically anymore. I lost my husband almost 3 years ago, it's not become any easier, I just have learned to accept it, and I do now tend to think of all the happy moment instead of his passing. Much love and big hugs carla
Kateydid123
Kateydid123
I cry with every response I read from you guys at night time. Sometimes I don't know if this helps or hurts but I think in the long run it's very Therapeutic. Thanks Marybeth and Carla. Dave