It's curious you mention that, I have had the same perspective lately. It's almost like my wife is out of town and she will return soon. It's been 5 months since she passed but it seems just like yesterday. I guess it's our way of not having to come to the realization that they aren't coming home.

Hello MJ, I am truly sorry for your loss and the way your wife passed. I am glad you found this site as I know it will be a trusted friend to you during your grief journey. It is almost 9 months since my beautiful Maria passed from a 4-1/2 month grueling battle with cancer. She was just 46 years young and she was my world. I know how lonely and scarry it is when everyone leaves and you are home alone for the first time. As many will tell you, everyone grieves differently but you are most likely in shock and still numb from everything. Do whatever feels natural, if you feel like sleeping all day then do it, If you want to scream then scream. I obsessed with yard work, as it was something we loved to do, I looked through photo albums and watched home videos, I read grief books and wrote in a journal. These are just a few things you might consider if and when you're up to it. Make sure if your keeping busy to give yourself time and permission to grieve. You can't get around it, you unfortunately need to go through it. We are all here for you and know your pain, God Bless, Bernard

So sorry to hear of your loss, and of your sad story. I sincerely hope you find comfort here as there are a lot of people here who truely care. I am glad you found this site to help you thru this difficult time.

So sorry for you. It has been four weeks for me since my husband died suddenly. It is still hard to go thru the motions. My kids will be leaving in two days then I will be alone. I will be thinking of you and sending my best. It is still really hard.

Thanks for the replys. In addition to the loneliness, like many others I need to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. Retirement doesn't seem as appealing now as it did 2 weeks ago, but I am burned out on my profession and would hate to go back to it just to fill up empty hours. Hobbies might help, but I think for me they need to be the kind that get me out of the house. Being alone here all day is not what I need.

Hello MJ,
I am Lucy. I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. Such a devastating & tragic blow. I lost my husband of 43 yrs to cancer. I too often think of him as just away. On a trip maybe, but well and happy & having fun. I think it's a way for us to cope with such loss.
Right now you should just be taking care of yourself. Rest & take time to grieve. You are probally still numb and in shock & this does not seem real to you yet. Be prepared for it to hit you like a ton of bricks when the realization comes that she is not going to come back. We've all been there. We know what you are going through so you can come on anytime and there is usually someone here to talk with.
Sending warm thoughts & prayers, take care, Lucy

Mj46, I understand what you are feeling. I received my first ss check the day after my husband died. He was two years younger and was going to work, for a couple of years. I don't know when this brain fog will lift so I can figure out what to do. My old job is not an option and I live in a very small town where there are not a lot organizations to join not even a bereavement group. I am praying for you. Brenda