Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I received news yesterday that my brother-in-law died of an apparent heart attack on Christmas Day while hunting with his son. This was my husband's brother. There were 3 children in my husband's family.
My Joe had cancer and suffered immeasuraby in 2008 and 2009. His sister developed cancer during 2009 and died in July after only 4 months. Joe died 5 months later. Now, the only living sibling died.
Sister died at age 71 in July 2009.
Joe died at age 66 on Dec. 18, 2009.
Brother died at age 62 on Dec. 25, 2012
I am sad because they all died too young. I am sad because all 3 are gone now, in the space of 3 years. And here am I. Still here and grieving each loss hurts. I am the only survivor of many, many groups that I was a member of. I keep wondering when my time will be. I don't like being the last one left. I've always said that my greatest fear was living too long and being the last human left on earth. My job would be to turn out the lights when everyone has left.
I know this sounds crazy, and I actually am very thankful that I am here. But it's so sad to keep being left.....................over and over.
Just wanted to express my thoughts. Thanks for listening.
My Joe had cancer and suffered immeasuraby in 2008 and 2009. His sister developed cancer during 2009 and died in July after only 4 months. Joe died 5 months later. Now, the only living sibling died.
Sister died at age 71 in July 2009.
Joe died at age 66 on Dec. 18, 2009.
Brother died at age 62 on Dec. 25, 2012
I am sad because they all died too young. I am sad because all 3 are gone now, in the space of 3 years. And here am I. Still here and grieving each loss hurts. I am the only survivor of many, many groups that I was a member of. I keep wondering when my time will be. I don't like being the last one left. I've always said that my greatest fear was living too long and being the last human left on earth. My job would be to turn out the lights when everyone has left.
I know this sounds crazy, and I actually am very thankful that I am here. But it's so sad to keep being left.....................over and over.
Just wanted to express my thoughts. Thanks for listening.
My husband died at 62, my nephew at 37 and my sister-in-law at 58. I'm not sad. I remain p _ s s _ d because it wasn't supposed to be that way. I have gotten that God has a better plan. Oh, right. God had a plan for my DH, so he struck him with cancer so he could suffer. That is just beyond stupid.
I understand your fear about being the last one standing, but it would help if you only lived for today, this hour, this moment. No one knows how much time they have left. As for the future? I try not to think about it, for who knows if I will even be here, and I've tortured myself all these years.
I hope you have other family members that can surround you and fill some of the void. It isn't the same and won't be, but love and affection can be expressed and received in many different forms.
I am fighting more of my own battles again myself.
Call me anytime and we can talk or get together.
Wishing all of us a better new year!
"Why am I still here?" is still another of those 'why' questions, and in my opinion , the why questions will make you crazy as they don't really have an answer.
There are 6 siblings in my family, and each of us dreads being the last one to go. In my father's family, it was the youngest who was last, but in my mother's family it was the eldest sibling who outlived all of her younger brothers and sisters. No one knows how it will all play out, and we try not to think in those terms. (My parents and Cliff's have been dead for many, many years now.)
Try not to think in terms of being the last one or any of that. I don't think that will be helpful for you or anyone else in the family.
Again, I am sorry for this new loss.
Love and Hugs,
Martha