Lisa: Your message reminds me of my very first journal entry here. Sending you virtual hugs on this anniversary day.

Henri Nouwen Society - 2016/01/02
Joy and sorrow are never separated. When our hearts rejoice at a spectacular view, we may miss our friends who cannot see it, and when we are overwhelmed with grief, we may discover what true friendship is all about. Joy is hidden in sorrow and sorrow in joy. If we try to avoid sorrow at all costs, we may never taste joy, and if we are suspicious of ecstasy, agony can never reach us either. Joy and sorrow are the parents of our spiritual growth.

Special days remain special days, and unfortunately that can be painful. Some years have been harder than others, but it does get easier to bounce back from it. I give myself as much 'wiggle room' as I need on those days. Our anniversary is next month, and I do dread it every year. I'm sorry you have this sad experience, too. I try to be grateful for the years we did have. That's not always easy. Some years I have simply been angry with Cliff for not being here - as irrational as that can be. Some years I am the only person who remembers our anniversary. Other times, our sons have said something, or my sister whose anniversary was close to ours (one day off) and I will message each other some support. Cliff's family has been out of our lives since his death, so no support there either. I cry every year on the day.

Sending you Love and Extra Hugs,
Martha

Hi Lisa, yesterday would have been our 33rd anniversary. Took us most of years together before we could finally remember the date, April 26. So we always had our annual conversation -- Hey, isn't our anniversary sometime in April? That's right. When is it? I'm not sure. You? Isn't it the 27th? No, it's the 25th, isn't it? Are you sure? No. Neither of us had a clue so we'd finally have to look it up. Now, I know the exact date. Go figure :)

Hi Lisa,
I'm sending out a special prayer and hug for you today. I hope it goes okay for you.

Lisa, I'm so sorry that this is a sad day for you. I'm only 2 months into this another 2 months away from what would have been our 35th anniversary.

I had to deal with Kurt's birthday 3 weeks after I was widowed, but I had a tradition that I saw me through.
Whenever the birthday or deathday of a loved one came up on the calendar I would light a candle that burned from midnight to midnight and place it in a window so the light might be seen by the departed.
Our upcoming anniversary now warrants a candle to commemorate the time we shared.

Lisa, I hope that today your memories aren't only of the loss you suffered but also a celebration of the gift you two were given when you found each other and committed to a lifetime together.
Wishing you peace,
Ellen

Lisa,
Thinking of you today and your wedding anniversary. I know how difficult it is and how much we long for that special celebration to say "Happy Anniversary".
I still repeat those words on our anniversary because it feels right; in spirit maybe he just may hear me.
I wish you peace to get you through today. And strength and wisdom to know you are not alone on this journey. Hugs, Carol

Hi Lisa...it’s my anniversary too today! I would like to say congratulations to you for having such a long wonderful marriage. We were married 30 years, 40 years together when Ira passed three years ago this coming June. It’s often hard to come to terms with this reality. Even years out, it still hits you at times and your like.....whaaaat? What happened? Why us? I have thought that in the past but one thing I am always thankful for, and I know it’s hard for new people to understand this, is that I am so thankful for having had that many years together. That in itself was a joy! Not a lot of people are so lucky. I choose to remember the good times because they far outweigh the bad.
Your in my thoughts.
Peace and love to you.
Darcie

Lisa, hugs to you. You are such a kind, caring, and sweet part of this community. You've helped me so much. I wish I could help you. Peace and love to your lovely, yet hurting soul.

Sending thoughts to you Lisa, on this special day. Love and Hugs, Dolores

I want to say thank you to everyone who replied. Yesterday was certainly hard and ironically today is hard too. Knowing another one of those "days" has passed.. but having your posts to read has helped so much. Eddie, thank you, your words always hit home for me. Ellen your idea of lighting a candle is something i may start to do in remembrance thank you. Martha you always seem to have the right words to make things "ok". Scott, LOL yup Mike could never remember he always thought our day was April 26th... In later years the kids helped him out by saying "hey dad I think your anniversary is pretty soon" and to be honest as technology evolved he used his phone to keep track of that important stuff. Carol, it is truly a blessing to know I am not alone. Darcie I guess we knew the right day to pick for a wedding huh? I like your thoughts on having such a long wonderful marriage. I do let the grief over shadow the thoughts of having many good years. You are so right many aren't so lucky. Many meet in High School as We did and never get that lasting commitment. I think commitment isn't valued as much as it use to be. Deb30, Thank you for your kind words, I am so glad to know I have helped in some small way. We are in this together and I am blessed for that reason. Delores, Thank you for the thoughts and I send my love and hugs your way too. I have a memorial area planned for my home, although our life is sprinkled through out I really want to make a special place for remembrance. An open photo album if you will. A little bit of heaven in my home. The kids have expressed an interest in having this too. I will add a candle and maybe even a high school prom picture to the area. Yikes those hair style were something to pay tribute too for sure.. Love and Hugs to all.

Lisa

Cupolatte- forgot to thank you!! Your hug and kind words are very much appreciated.
Lisa