Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Mimi1979 05/03/2014

Does anyone else get sad/melancholy on other people's anniversaries?

May 2, 1953, Mark's parents were married. His mom died shortly after their 57th anniversary.

May 2, 1958, my parents were married. Today is their 56th anniversary.

Last year on May 2nd, I had my 1st big breakdown after Mark's death. It hit me like a ton of bricks. We would never celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary. This year is not much better. Feeling very down and sad and lonely. And tired.

Thanks for listening. This is a great place to let my feelings show.....my kids sure don't want to see them! (The last part is supposed to be funny...I have great kids!)

jewells1 05/03/2014

Good afternoon Mimi,
Yes some do bother me. More so is when they complain about petty things, they don't know that it can end so fast, forget that those words may be the last heard...

Gentle hugs today for you, time will pass then you will have an eternity to catch up with your Mark, as we all will. Make some great stories to tell him.

sandeestttn 05/03/2014

My husband and I would have been together 50 years, this year. We were married
July 3rd 1965. My youngest son was married July 1st 1995. They are, of course, planning on celebrating out of town. So I will be alone.

No, I will never celebrate my 50th anniversary either...

cliffskat 05/03/2014

Yes, it is bittersweet. I am happy for them but sad for myself. Cliff and I had 28 wedding anniversaries - 30 anniversaries as a couple. That's a lot, but it doesn't match what we had dreamt of, and it doesn't match other people's. My own parents were married for 42 years when Daddy died. My new in-laws just celebrated 57 years. I am envious of that. I understand what you mean.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

marysch 05/03/2014

I understand how you feel. I married my husband late in my life. I was 39 and first marriage for me. We knew we wouldn't see 50 unless we both lived into our 90's. But we didn't even get a full 28. I always thought since it took me so long to find him and we were so happy together, that we would at least get to our 80's. Both of our folks had 55+ years together. It makes me so sad to,see older couples so happy and making future plans. I do feel cheated for both of us. I also am sad, lonely and yes tired! So tired of trying to get by. None of the stuff i do is really working and I'm getting tired of some of it. My mood today is what is the point of it all? I serve no purpose really.

praised 05/03/2014

My 30th anniversary was April 28th. We were together 36 years, not living together but dating. I didn't want to marry until all my children were grown. He was my second husband and my first love. I was his second wife, Between us, we had 9 children, (4 were mine and 5 were his.)

matthew90 05/03/2014

Hi Mary, yes, when I see a couple with their picture in the paper for a 50th anniversary, while I am happy for them, just can't help getting that why not us moment. Seeing couples out walking like we used to do, especially hits me. I try to remember that we had a lot of those walks together, and I should be thankful, which I am, but it is just another one of many things that make me long for what was. These are the reasons this is harder than anyone who has not experienced this heartache first hand, could even imagine. I hope you feel better soon, and remember your friends here know how it feels and care.
Robert

LostAndFeelingAlone 05/03/2014

I don't get envious on other people's anniversaries. However as an outsider I can see how others, take their spouse's for granite.

I will not celebrate a 50th anniversary with my hubby either. But I am glad for the 23 yrs we had together. Hugs.

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