Oh Kim try not to be sad. try to go and allow yourself to have a good time. Your friends want too help you through this process. i understand about not wanting to wear something that reminds you so much of your husband. If it makes you feel better, pick up a little outfit that is new that is not associated with anything. Go and try to have a good time. My blessings are with you.

A couple of my husband's friends invited me to have lunch with them and their spouses. We have not seen them for a long time. I didn't wear anything special for the lunch. It turned out that we talked about him and about each other. It was a good lunch. So go and try to enjoy your friends.

I did wear a special outfit my husband bought for me for his memorial service and I put him in his tuxedo that he wore for our daughters weddings. I put my special outfits with his special outfits together and will probably never wear them again.

You're not being weird - far from it! My advice would be to go, wear something comfortable so you can relax a little. Leave the special outfits aside for now.

I did replace some of my wardrobe after Cliff died. Some things I could no longer see me wearing as they were special for him - especially the lacey things he got for me (c'mon - we probably all have a few of those!). Some things I actually threw out rather than giving them to Goodwill because I didn't want to risk seeing someone else in them - normally I donate whatever I can to charities.

I understand what you're feeling and why, and you are not alone. Please do go and meet up with your friends and let them comfort you. Now is the time to let your friends really be friends and help. And real friends won't care what you wear anyway.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Oh Kim, you aren't weird at all. Your outfits bring back fond memories of your DH, and at the same time pain because you lost him. If you can't wear them right now, then don't. There will be a day when you can. If not, you'll know who or where to donate them to.

Who said we had to be strong anyway? I was boo hooing because I have to replace pantry doors in the kitchen, and they are ones we chose together when we first moved in the house.

Kim,
I hope you will still go out with your friends and that it will give you a chance to talk about your husband.
I don't think you are being weird about those clothes. I have not gotten rid of anything that was Charlie's. I knew that I did not want to do that, but the closet needed cleaning and I though I would be able to give away some things of mine just to make room. I had no idea the memories my own clothes would bring back. It is even hard to shop now, because I think of how much Charlie would have liked to see me in a certain top.

Just one more clothes thing. One day I took out a vest that Charlie had loved. I slipped it on for the memories. I remembered the fun day we had when I wore it last. I reached into the pocket and found two quarters, both with significant dates. I knew then he still wanted me to wear some of the things we both loved.
I wish you peace. Julie

Oh no, Kim, you are not being weird...your just caught up in this crazy thing called grief. I understand all too well about the clothes and hurting because I will never hear his voice saying all those wonderful things. See if you can change it up a little ...maybe use a scarf. But at the end of the day the only thing that matters is that you go out to lunch with your friends. Let their love and friendship for you and your husband be focus of the day and let it lift you up. Sending lots of love and prayers your way.
Blessings,
Sharon

if you think that's weird, then you are REALLY gonna think I m crazy... I have all my church clothes, his clothes, his favorite outfits, certin ones that I can remember us doing something or going somewhere in.. I have it all....Its in our "DADDY" closet ...I also have certien things that smell like him in zip lock bags....so that they will keep the smell.. how weird is that but its me so I completely understand... :0)

Heavens no this is so typical....Those outfits are not ready to be worn right now but save them someday they will bring you joy again.

For now be relaxed and comfortable ENJOY

Thanks everyone for your advice & words of encouragement, I just want to say I did go to dinner & had a really nice relaxing time with great conversation & good food & it felt really good to reconnect with friends & as for the outfit I took your advice & didn't wear any of the outfits that were my husbands favorite instead I opted for casual & comfortable & as it turned out everyone else was also very casual so it just turned out to be a very relaxing evening & Im glad I went. Thanks again for all your great advice.........................Kim

I have not thrown out any of my wife's stuff. A dog park friend invited me over to watch the Superbowl. I'm not really up for it, but I accepted the invitation. I can't live my life in our bedroom like a hermit, so I'm forcing myself into situations that I wouldn't do had she not died.
I emailed her today and it felt great. Try it.

I understand what you are saying. I have certain things I won't wear now. I cannot even think of going through his things yet. I want to keep everything the way it is in our closet and his drawers. I hate the thought of doing that. Glad you went with your friends and had a nice time.

Kim you are so not weird! The feelings you are having are normal, you've just lost your husband. My suggestion go out with your friends, but wear something completely differant and maybe new. Put the outfits that your husband liked aside for now. Its ok for you to keep on living, meeting your friends I am sure your husband would want that for you..When my husband passed I had a hard time feeling comfortable going out with friends and enjoying myself. As time went on it got much easier. Hang in there and take care of yourself.