Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I'm 67 now and as I look back over all the Chrismases I've had, there were stages and kinds of celebrations. As a child, we cut down live trees. I remember the magic and excitement and Mama would make cinnamon rolls and fix orange juice.
When I was in college, it was a huge excitement thinking of coming home for Christmas and seeing my parents who were aging with spectacular speed.
Then, my children were born and we made BIG BIG celebrations. We went to church on Christmas Eve and nearly filled the room with toys for our children. I made HUGE meals with all kinds of recipes. Decorations in every room.
In later life, after my kids were grown we kept the Christmas Eve tradition with them and the grands at our house. I prepared a big dinner. We quit going to church on Christmas Eve because my son and son-in-law never got off work until after 5, even on Christmas Eve.
The years flew by. We reduced down from a big dinner to just yummy snacks on Christmas Eve. No decorations in the house other than the Christmas tree and the manger scene. Finally one year we even ate at a restaurant on Christmas Day! Ye Gods! No homemade dinner on Christmas? I found that it is very joyous even in a restaurant. Strangers smile and wish us a merry Christmas.
This year my daughter is estranged from me and I will not see her or my grands on Christmas (first time in 43 years I haven't been with my daughter at Christmas). My husband has died. Now, only my son, DIL, and GS will be with me on Christmas Eve. But, that's OK. They love me dearly and I love them that way, too. I have no decorations other than an artificial tree this year. But, the less showy the activities are, the more meaning of the true Christmas fills my soul. The music is more meaningful and the Bible stories, too.
No matter how big or small our celebrations are, they are still for ONE reason, to celebrate the birthday of Jesus. None of my Christmases has been exactly the same. My parents died, my first husband (father of my children) has died, my second husband Joe (my soulmate) has died, and my daughter is not speaking to me. But I have my faith and the promise that one day we will all be together again. I will wait patiently. Every Christmas is different, but it's still Christmas!!!
When I was in college, it was a huge excitement thinking of coming home for Christmas and seeing my parents who were aging with spectacular speed.
Then, my children were born and we made BIG BIG celebrations. We went to church on Christmas Eve and nearly filled the room with toys for our children. I made HUGE meals with all kinds of recipes. Decorations in every room.
In later life, after my kids were grown we kept the Christmas Eve tradition with them and the grands at our house. I prepared a big dinner. We quit going to church on Christmas Eve because my son and son-in-law never got off work until after 5, even on Christmas Eve.
The years flew by. We reduced down from a big dinner to just yummy snacks on Christmas Eve. No decorations in the house other than the Christmas tree and the manger scene. Finally one year we even ate at a restaurant on Christmas Day! Ye Gods! No homemade dinner on Christmas? I found that it is very joyous even in a restaurant. Strangers smile and wish us a merry Christmas.
This year my daughter is estranged from me and I will not see her or my grands on Christmas (first time in 43 years I haven't been with my daughter at Christmas). My husband has died. Now, only my son, DIL, and GS will be with me on Christmas Eve. But, that's OK. They love me dearly and I love them that way, too. I have no decorations other than an artificial tree this year. But, the less showy the activities are, the more meaning of the true Christmas fills my soul. The music is more meaningful and the Bible stories, too.
No matter how big or small our celebrations are, they are still for ONE reason, to celebrate the birthday of Jesus. None of my Christmases has been exactly the same. My parents died, my first husband (father of my children) has died, my second husband Joe (my soulmate) has died, and my daughter is not speaking to me. But I have my faith and the promise that one day we will all be together again. I will wait patiently. Every Christmas is different, but it's still Christmas!!!
I hope you have a wonderful one with your family. I am looking forward to spending Christmas morning with my Daughter & SIL, My beautiful GS & and my son. I feel so blessed to be able to share the morning with them.
It will be my GS 1st Christmas. He has brought such joy to us. I am so grateful to God for sending him to us when he did. Perfect timing. I'm not sure if we would all be able to look forward to the day if it were not for him. Don got to be with him and enjoy him for 4 months. He adored him. We waited 8 years for a grandbaby & he is worth every minute.
Then we will go to my Mother & Father in laws for Christmas Dinner. We are blessed to still have them in our lives and they miss Don so much. They are 86 & 87 years old now and it really hurt them to loose Don. He was their first born. Their strong faith is the only thing that helps them keep going. They know they will see him again soon.
So life goes on ...Chiristmas goes on and so do we. One day at a time.
I think you know what the true spirit of Chrismas is and you will be filled with it as best you can.
Maggie
Life is a process and with a vision of what we can accomplish and
the future on its way we all have what it takes to find happiness in all things. Enjoy the ride, my sweet, it's not all bad. Sharon