Ruby- if it's any comfort, I too sit alone most nights pondering in tears, but by choice. Rather than be out and see how everyone else still have what I no longer don't. Happiness, companionship, love etc.. I'd rather hang out with my loving dogs!! Family and friends don't check up on me anymore since her service 7mos ago. After mouthing off "Just move on the best you can" (like it's that easy!), they carry on with their lives. I get easily annoyed with people lately anyway! Might as well stay isolated for now till I build the tolerance to be around folks again. You can feel how uncaring and insensitive this society has become. I- Me- My mentality!! The only one's that can truly understand your pain right now, would be someone that's already going thru the same. This forum helps a lot with the venting part. Keep writing and posting. Or you can even call if you just want to talk to someone, anytime, Ruby! 818-293-9867

I got out today. I get up early so before other people get up I took the dogs for a walk along the canal. I heard so many birds in the brush it sounded like running water. That was a happy moment. Back sitting in my chair now. I have been angry at people also. They says let's go out...but never call. I will find a way to be a new single person one day. I hope that for you also.

Ruby,
Exactly! Find a way to reinvent yourself or just rediscover what made you click before all this happened. As for me, just finding my peace with the loss would be adequate for now. Still trying to find it in this dark place I'm at. Never easy being a new single person at this age, especially when you're an emotional amputee. Just my point of view....never planned to be single again this stage in life. My wife and I were getting ready to retire in 3yrs! Then the unthinkable blindsided me.....sigh! Re-structuring that game plan again. She got to spend her lifetime w/ me...who do I get to spend mine with now that she's gone? Kinda sucks if you think about it, having to be forced into single life again. With all that I've gotten used to....her loving, caring ways as a wife got me spoiled for 30 yrs. Sometimes I wish we had a crappy marriage, then this would be a little easier to deal with. But that wasn't the case. Ours was short of a fairy tale romance.
Oh well! All gone now...
You just keep looking for things to uplift your spirit anyway you can. Sometimes it's as simple as birds singing a storm, lol! People say things mostly to make them feel good that they did something. Like "Hey, she can't say I did not invite her out". The "Good Samaritan Syndrome" everybody has it in them, but never really genuine! That's why no follow thru....their just words blurted out for the moment. Going out with friends has a reverse effect on me, detrimental more than anything. I am now the one admiring/resenting their happy state. Shame on me!!
Write often as needed....call someone if you truly need to converse with another person. It helps depending on who you call.... KIT!

Reading about you all and getting warm via my hair dryer, drying the tears with it too.
I hope I never consider myself "too God" though...

Vwidow- You're never too much of anything when it comes to sincerely helping or pitching in to help improve someone's mood in this forum. Every input helps in any form of approach! Be it scriptures, passages, poems, excerpts, current sentiments, etc... it makes a ton of difference hearing from you actively. When it comes to postings, treat it like Burger King...."have it your way"!! Because that's the idea joining this forum, to vent our feelings unconditionally. No such thing as "too God" or otherwise to help you and others heal...so have at it, as you feel appropriate! God bless and stay strong!