Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Msbklyn 08/30/2016

One year ago today my husband of almost 30 years suffered a sudden cardiac arrest in our hotel room in Seattle. We had just completed a cruise to Alaska and were going to enjoy 1 more night in Seattle before flying home to the East Coast. I had always wanted to see Alaska and we had a fabulous trip. I managed to do CPR and called for help. He lived for another 30 days which were spent in Cardiac ICU while our children flew back and forth. I think I've been doing well but writing this makes me realize how much of the past year I have lived on autopilot. Sometimes it still doesn't seem real I've been on this site for a number of months mostly reading posts and comments, recently commenting when many people were leaving due to the technical issues. I know how life saving it felt to read about others who had experienced this great loss in their lives and were surviving. I know my journey will be ongoing for the rest of my life. Everyone who has posted and commented has helped me feel a great connection to this community of people I am so grateful for. I can gain strength by knowing you have all done this and continue on. God Bless us all in our new lives.

rebl3157 08/30/2016

I've survived 2 years of this now. I can't believe it. Still seems like yesterday but so long ago. It still gets me every now and then. Just not as hard as it did that first year. Never dreamed I'd make it this long. Hang in there you can do this. You're not alone, we're all walking right beside you
Rachel

LastAcorn99 08/31/2016

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s great to know that you have such great memories of your husband to cherish. I pray that God will continue to comfort you and journey with you in the days ahead. Sending you love and hugs.

cliffskat 08/31/2016

I am sorry for the loss that brought you here, but grateful that being here has helped you. It helped me, too, when I lost my husband Cliff to a heart attack. In our case, CPR and even 8 paramedics couldn't bring him back. He was gone in moments, as was all our dreams and plans for the future and our sons' futures. Being here helped me rebuild my life. That's why I stayed on - to give back what was given to me. I am one of the Community Leaders here, along with Shrn and marjoe. (That's why there is a blue check mark on my picture.) We're all oldtimers now, and proof that you can get through this. Welcome. Love and Hugs, Martha

emerald15 08/31/2016

Hi, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear husband, especially after 30 years of marriage. It is never enough years. We have 2 things in common, one year ago and I was married to John for 30 years also. But you know what, it's so good, and I'm so glad that you and your husband had a wonderful vacation in Alaska, and Seattle, beautiful places to be and I'm sure you will have many fun, wonderful memories of your special vacation together. I know it was so hard and difficult and heartbreaking to be with him in ICU for 30 days, again I know the pain, like you of watching your strong, wonderful husband in ICU. I hope your good memories override the last days with your husband in ICU. It's hard to let go of those last few moments, even though there were 30 years together. That's what I'm trying to do now, after one year, stop thinking of those last sad days, bring back the good memories. So I listen to our music now, after one year, and I am with John at night with our music. Take care and it is so good you found your way to this site with the rest of us here who understand, comfort and talk to each other, especially our devoted community leaders, Cliffskat, Shrn who are our anchors and rocks here. Just look up to the sky and smile. He's there.
Hugs and sunflowers, Nanette

DarrellTexas 08/31/2016

I have just made it past the one year mark on Sunday. My wife and I were together for 30+ years and married for almost 25 years. I identify with what you are saying in that it does not seem real at times. I have now crossed the one year mark but, in ways, it seemed by my wife passed years ago and, in other ways, it was only days ago. It has been a slow progression as I have moved from shock to a mixture of shock / reality and then reality / acceptance. I have reached the acceptance position but I am fighting the " change " or " new life " stage in grief. I still want my " old
life " back but, in my heart, I know that is never to be and it is the most difficult experience I have ever encountered in my life.

The roller coaster of emotions is still moving but the climbs don't seem to be as steep these days and the sudden downward moves are less severe. This group has helped me deal with all of it at times and I shall keep coming back.

Blessings to all -

Darrell in Texas

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