Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
It is hard to think that tomorrow (March 24th) will be two months since Meredith passed away. I have had many new experiences in my life that I never thought I would experience but I am still here.
My boss talked to me the other day candidly about how I am doing at work and he feels I am handling things better than he could if it were his wife. I explained that I am not handling things as well as he thinks, but when I walk through that door I have to be put together. Not for my customers but for my kids. If I am not put together it affects my sales which affects how my kids eat. So for them I pretend like my life is fine, not for the company, the customer or any of my co-workers. I do it for my three kids.
I have found that the days are getting easier because I have not let myself stop and pull back from society. This group has meant a ton to me in reading and the occasional post to others. I have asked the church to let me and the kids be, not to ignore us but to let us go for a bit. We have found that we all are still standing and do not need all the help. We can make it together.
Sometimes dinner is late in the evening due to my work schedule but we eat, home cooked meals five out of seven days a week. So I think we are doing good.
I find myself spending about an hour or two a week at her grave either venting or just listening to music. Ah yes music, the driving force of my life. I can listen to it and not cry anymore. Not that it does not affect me, because it still does. But I can listen to even the sappy love songs and not cry instead each one makes me think of a different time in our marriage and it makes me happy.
I am going out tomorrow night to a concert and I plan on enjoying it even if the music is a lot older than I am lol. My mother has always wanted to see Barry Manilow and all she knows is that her son is taking her to dinner tomorrow. Then I will surprise her with the concert.
Life is going to be ok and I know she is here with me everyday. The whispers in the wind, her voice in the back of my mind, even the peaceful dreams I have of her and I together each night.
So this is me doing an official check in, saying Hi, and thanking all of you for the inspiration you have been to me these last two months. Time to go back to my normal self by commenting randomly and reading daily lol.
-John (hfire76)
My boss talked to me the other day candidly about how I am doing at work and he feels I am handling things better than he could if it were his wife. I explained that I am not handling things as well as he thinks, but when I walk through that door I have to be put together. Not for my customers but for my kids. If I am not put together it affects my sales which affects how my kids eat. So for them I pretend like my life is fine, not for the company, the customer or any of my co-workers. I do it for my three kids.
I have found that the days are getting easier because I have not let myself stop and pull back from society. This group has meant a ton to me in reading and the occasional post to others. I have asked the church to let me and the kids be, not to ignore us but to let us go for a bit. We have found that we all are still standing and do not need all the help. We can make it together.
Sometimes dinner is late in the evening due to my work schedule but we eat, home cooked meals five out of seven days a week. So I think we are doing good.
I find myself spending about an hour or two a week at her grave either venting or just listening to music. Ah yes music, the driving force of my life. I can listen to it and not cry anymore. Not that it does not affect me, because it still does. But I can listen to even the sappy love songs and not cry instead each one makes me think of a different time in our marriage and it makes me happy.
I am going out tomorrow night to a concert and I plan on enjoying it even if the music is a lot older than I am lol. My mother has always wanted to see Barry Manilow and all she knows is that her son is taking her to dinner tomorrow. Then I will surprise her with the concert.
Life is going to be ok and I know she is here with me everyday. The whispers in the wind, her voice in the back of my mind, even the peaceful dreams I have of her and I together each night.
So this is me doing an official check in, saying Hi, and thanking all of you for the inspiration you have been to me these last two months. Time to go back to my normal self by commenting randomly and reading daily lol.
-John (hfire76)
-
-
Old Hillbilly Wisdom:Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.Keep skunks, bankers, and politicians at a distance.Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.The best sermons are lived, not preached.If you don't take the time to do it right, you'll find the...
PS. This Eric Clapton song is my go-to cry song. It feels so, so sad when I listen to it.
If it were not for my children and my job I, too, would have felt, "I can't do this one more day!"
I am also lucky to have had two amazingly wonderful dogs [one of them passed about 10 months after Morey did] and, now I have one huge reason to get up and get going every single day!!! He's seen me through the worst of times.
Your focus is a positive one and you will prevail.
Roz