Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Wow, blindsided again. I received a call a couple of days ago from a former co-worker from 28 years ago. She asked if I would be available to attend a mini reunion of several folks from a past employment. I was thrilled! I haven't seen these friends for almost 3 decades, and the thought of catching up made my mind spin with memories. That's when it happened! Yike, right between the eyes. Here's the sequence my mind traveled to:
THEN:
1. I was 37
2. I was in the prime of my life, busy with family, school, and parental responsibilities
3. I was married 19 years and madly in love with my high-school sweetheart
4. I was the other half of an awesome couple
NOW:
1. I just turned 65
2. My prime has long passed, and my family has gone on to have their own lives, and part of THEIR parental responsibilities is ME (very humbling)
3. I would have been married 47 years and STILL in love with my high-school sweetheart
4. I am alone
It really hit me that the woman who will be walking into that reunion might be recognized by sight, but inside she has become a different person. The post comes to mind of TooManyGone (Chris) when he was considering going to his 31st high school reunion and the many misgivings he felt about attending.
I wouldn't miss seeing all my friends again, but, oh my, a jolt of reality hit me when I thought about the differences between THEN and NOW. I started down that dark path of comparisons that we survivors know all too well, but the lessons of life experiences won out. I knew I couldn't roost in that dark place very long, so I had a brief pity party (I hate it when those hit) and then aimed toward a brighter destination.
Chris, whether you know it or not, your courage played a role in how I processed my sorriness for what has happened over those 28 years. Thanks. I plan to have a blast. Yep, my life is very different, I'm different, my goals are different, but that's OK, and that high-school sweetheart still has a hold on my heart. TJ
THEN:
1. I was 37
2. I was in the prime of my life, busy with family, school, and parental responsibilities
3. I was married 19 years and madly in love with my high-school sweetheart
4. I was the other half of an awesome couple
NOW:
1. I just turned 65
2. My prime has long passed, and my family has gone on to have their own lives, and part of THEIR parental responsibilities is ME (very humbling)
3. I would have been married 47 years and STILL in love with my high-school sweetheart
4. I am alone
It really hit me that the woman who will be walking into that reunion might be recognized by sight, but inside she has become a different person. The post comes to mind of TooManyGone (Chris) when he was considering going to his 31st high school reunion and the many misgivings he felt about attending.
I wouldn't miss seeing all my friends again, but, oh my, a jolt of reality hit me when I thought about the differences between THEN and NOW. I started down that dark path of comparisons that we survivors know all too well, but the lessons of life experiences won out. I knew I couldn't roost in that dark place very long, so I had a brief pity party (I hate it when those hit) and then aimed toward a brighter destination.
Chris, whether you know it or not, your courage played a role in how I processed my sorriness for what has happened over those 28 years. Thanks. I plan to have a blast. Yep, my life is very different, I'm different, my goals are different, but that's OK, and that high-school sweetheart still has a hold on my heart. TJ
Have fun at your reunion!
Hugs, Joely
Go have a ball at the reunion!!!
I see people who live in the same town, sometimes the same house, and haven't changed anything in decades. What a boring life.
Everyone is the total of their experiences, good or bad. You is what you is!
Dar
Are you the same person as you were then? Over those 28 years you have grown in all aspects of your life who says 37 is the prime of life. All the love you shared with your high school sweetheart is cumulative. All the goals acquired, all the troubled water bridged, all lessons learned while raising a family and in the work place, and all the blessing received have made you who you are today a woman in The Prime of Her Life. As other have said your circumstances have changed but you have Curt in your heart and even being only one half of a couple you have grown in life and Faith. So no youre not the same as you were then youre who you are now so go have a blast
Blessings Dave
I'm sorry my old high school closed down. I so wanted to go and see my old principal. He told me out of all the students he ever met, I was most likely to become an international terrorist. He would have fallen over to hear I work in education.