I know just what your talking about. Couples just don't know what they have until its gone! I was one of them myself. I have so many regrets. I just might have spoke up if I was in the right mood.

Your post reminded me of after our son left for college. I had left work for lunch and sat across from a couple with a young child. I couldn't hold my tears and they kept glancing over at me. After a while I explained that my son had left the previous day for college and looking at them felt like it was my family not that long ago. I guess it's human nature! Sharon

Janie,
First of all I am so proud of you for going for that lunch alone.
I am sure it took a lot of courage to go there with it being the last restaurant you and your husband visited.
I avoid so many of the places where Ben and I went for meals, especially our special cappuccino shop where he would always order his favourite gelato black cherry and mango. That makes me cry, even as I type.
I have mentioned ( in a nice way) to my children and the young couples in church, to make very moment count.
Thanks for your post ,
Sandra

Hugs to you Janie. I think it is wonderful you got out today and had lunch in your favorite restaurant. It's funny how we seen things more clearly now that we have had the loss of our spouses. I wish I knew then what I know now. I would say I love you more (even though we said it daily), I love you was literally our last words to each other and I am so glad it was. I would touch more, kiss more, hold his hand more, talk more. I hope you also enjoyed some lovely memories. Hugs Jane

I too recognize that I didn't know what I had until it was no more. I so appreciate Sally for pushing me to get educated and become a much kinder nicer person. She crafted me (the love of her life) into a nice guy! I too see couples that do not know what they have. If you are that miserable that you cannot respect your partner get out! You haven't lived until you have been in a realtionship where you other half is your best buddy.

Great for you for going out to "your" favorite place. On this roller coaster ride will be sad but we can also grab the bull by the horns and face our demons. As I have written in other posts, I started a hand written journal. I talked to a friend that worked with Sally. She told me no matter how bad Sally's day was when she spoke of me her eyes lite up. I new she cared for me but I did not see the depth of her love. As I wrote in the journal after that conversation I cried for a long time. I knew but I didn't recognize. Thanks to all for reading my posts as for the first time in my life I'm writing from my heart and spilling my feelings. I'm 64 and have no one to impress. I hope I'm not boring everyone. I hope some of my content has value.

Dewey, Best to all from Montana

17 weeks for me... I tried to go do some work at my sons dance studio on Monday and all I remembered was Brian moving all of that stuff in there in one day the weekend before he was killed. I had to leave. I'm glad you stuck it out. I don't know if I could do it yet.. BIG HUGS!

It was brave to go to one of your favorite places alone. I think you are a couple weeks ahead of me. I work on the phone back in earley March I was speaking to a widow missing her husband. She asked if I was married & reminded me to cherish our days. I always tried too, never knew when I got that reminder My husband wouldn't wake up on July 25th. I never thought I would lose a loved one so swift with no warning. I have had many losses but there was an illness. & Losing your spouse is like losing a part of your own heart & soul. I go out by myself, I went to our favorite place with his best friends for lunch twice they met there every wk. I told them it was just too painful for me to meet for lunch there right now, its too soon & gut wretching we had 16 yrs of beautiful memories of lunches, dinners, parties & dancing there.I now know why sadness causes people to avoid even happy places. I spent a lot of time with my Grandmother as a child.She often shared the story of her young husband going to work like any other day & not coming home. He passed away in a mining accident. She said he had been asking for a chocolate cake & she had finally made it. She fealt so badly she hadn't made it in time. She encouraged us to show our love today,tomorrow is not promised. In spite of this we are only human with busy lives and looking back I can easily count a thousand missed opportunities in just the last few days we had. But I believe he knew how much I loved him.