Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

3,758 Members
19,465 Posts
0 Online
Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

A Small Victory

luckydaughter
luckydaughter

I woke up this morning to almost no water pressure in the kitchen sink, although there was plenty everywhere else in the house.  Hubby is not around to fix things any longer, so I did what any modern widow would do:  I Googled it and watched a YouTube video. With a pair of pliers and a pair of tweezers, I had the problem fixed in just a couple of minutes.


It's a small victory but it's a victory.  I have a handyman for the jobs that I lack the physical strength and/or the know-how, but I am learning how to take care of the things that I can take care of on my own.  It not only saves money but it makes me feel a little more capable in this world.  LOL



Sylvia

raininseattle
raininseattle
Great! We all need visual clues to prove "we can make it". So cherish these confidence-building moments.
Community Leadermarjoe
marjoe
That's awesome! When I changed a shower head out, it felt like I split the atom, lol. Really.
handg
handg
Way to go! I am a resourceful person as a norm but must admit that I relied on hubby to do certain things. He passed at the end of January 2013 and the following week when we were hit with a snowstorm , I could not get the snowblower started. Swallowing my pride, I asked for help from 2 male neighbours who were outside and neither knew how they said (although one was running a snowblower similar to mine about the same time) . Frustrated and upset, I came back inside and had myself a pity party, then I went on line and typed in the model # and how to get it going. I was so proud of getting it working that I opened my driveway and the one next door (that neighbour would have been able to help had he been home) . After a few weeks and another few snowstorms, I realized that nasty black smoke was coming out so I again went on youtube and figured out how to do a tune up by changing the spark plug and changing the oil etc...Again I was so proud...
But when I changed the furnace filter by myself after a few months of ignoring it and dreading having to tackle it (As easy as pulling out old one and replacing with new one) that was when I felt so empowered! Such an easy task , much easier then the snowblower but it was because of the unknown finally being addressed and realising that from now on, I would not know unless I tried.

I had my own sibling say to me in a patronising way "You don't ask for help!" Well I did many times and was turned away. Even this sibling would say "Yea remind me" and then never show up. It felt like I should ask but then be at his mercy for his time. Made me feel like a beggar..

I can't afford to pay someone to come fix things every time there is an issue so yes, I will try to do myself first. Unless I know that I may make a bigger mess of it, then I will call a professional and have them do it and pay and refuse to wait on others to become available.

To be fair, the one sibling would come a.s.a.p. if I called him but he has health issues and I don't want him to over do it.