You are doing what you need to do. I have found those days get worse if the feelings aren't allowed to come out. I thought I was past the numb, frozen state but it came again last week triggered by a memory.
I just can't force myself to be happy during those times. So, I allow myself to have a sad day. My sons are not aware of this as I can put on a good telephone conversation. Thinking of checking on counseling asthere are a lot of guilt/anger issues regarding the unncessary pain my husband endured. Time helps it all not to be so constantly on my mind. Hope your tomorrow is better. Jean

Patricia;
I know how hard these days can be at four months. I'm almost at one year I'm at a much better place now. I used to force myself to get up every morning get dressed, make my bed. I knew if I gave into this grieve I would never get Living again. Not what Dennis would've wanted for me. I remember crying while doing house and yard work. I just let it out. I at times screamed at him for leaving me, went through the would've, should've , could've and all the guilt. I did find out that sometimes you have to be a little selfish and just take time to heal at your own pace. Just know, There is no expiration date on this thing called Grieving.
Happy Trails and many hugs...........Gail

I am at just under 2 months and all I do is cry and feel ill and go through the motions, so I can relate.The three day weekend was the worst as I didn't even have to go to work. I have spoken to a grief counselor a few times and she said we need to experience all of this, it is part of the process. According to her, it is early days and I can expect to feel this way for quite some time. So one day at a time and we'll get through this.

Hey Patricia,
Those days are hard no doubt. It's almost like we all cycle. As soon as one of us start to get stronger the cycle hits another until they get stronger and It keeps going. Sounds like it's your turn so we are all here for you as best we can. Just do what you need to do for you. I guess that's why they call it healing. It feels like a deep wound trying to heal up sometimes. I've been told it' called a grief wave. I've had two really bad ones so far.
Please take care.
Peace, Tim

Everyone is perfect in how, and when they cry/grieve. Im at one year and 3 months, and I still have bad days. You will never, not miss your sweet loves, you will just have to start creating happy/fond memories, to feel those physical voids, and sometimes that is still not so good. We can choose on or own rather we have a good or bad day, it's all up to us. Somedays I choose to be at home, alone, and remembering, and other days I choose to remember, and participate in life. They say there are no do overs, or second guesses. I wish you all peace atleast one day this week. Much love and big hugs... p.s. Im in Cali visiting family, so sorry that I havent been posting much. many blessings for everyone