Munmun, I understand and I agree. The pain is unbearable at times, It grips me at random times and will not let go. I also stare at Amy's pictures and listen to music.
Some folks ask how I am doing but you can tell that they do not want to really hear the truth. Other don't ask because they do not want us to feel bad (They may not realize that we feel bad already, so it does not matter). Some are afraid of saying something wrong. We all know that they mean well even if they say something "inappropriate". We have all been in their shoes. Others do ask and truly care. These people are precious.
I try not to isolate myself. I have found support from folks that I never expected it from.
On this journey, I have become much more aware of the hurting people in this world.
Accept the victories where you can find them (even if they are small ones).
Blessings, Peace, Healing and Hope for all of us today and for all that are hurting.... Mark

small steps minute by minute :)

I have found in my 1.5 months of being a widow, the act of grieving is a very private action, by that I mean the loud wailing and tears, where you feel that you heart is going to fall out of your chest because it is so heavy. The rest of the survivors of your loved one most likely don't feel that way because they were not the spouse so you need to keep that in mind when you encounter them. Go to counseling or grief groups and stay on this site because we understand.

I re read my post just now, and I have to also advise to all of us to be with the peeps that are in a happy life and you know they want to help and honestly, witnessing their happy life is the best way for us to take a big deep breath of life...not like it's gonna fix anything but breath deep anyway and live life as soon as you can.

Pain is intense at times. I woke up this morning crying and with heavy chest. I couldnt believe it happened with me. Its painful. Very few people will really understand your pain. Try to go out and meet people. It may make you feel better.

It's the same here Prashant . I feel my heart would come out of the heaviness in the mornings

Munmun - i totally understand. Time is a great healer. Please give time for healing to happen. Prayers for you and others and myself walking on this path.

I m not able to accept he is gone , with any single thing I remember just him . He was linked to every little thing of mine , was so blessed to have him . N now cursed to loose him . One min he was there and other he is gone . How is that even possible ?

Mumun - i understand your pain and acceptance is the biggest challenge for now. This is life,s harshest lessons. Try to engage yourself in some sort of physical activity / exercises. That will provide you with some mental strength.

Have lost my strength with the constant crying , so can't think of exercise yet . I haven't been able to go out yet and haven't joined work yet .

i can understand. I do feel the same at times. Just take day by day. Hour by hour.