Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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9 Month's

diamond47m
diamond47m
Is there something about 9 month's where you go back feeling the way you did in the very early days? I just don't get it,all of a sudden he (Pat) is on my mind every moment,I have had two full days of crying and begging God to send him back to me,not to mention want a answer as to Why this happened.I am a christian,I try to live for God as best I can,I should be able to accept this better,I know where he is and know I will see him again,so why am I feeling this way again? Is anybody else doing this?
heartsick1
heartsick1
I was just telling this to my friend who lost her baby to SIDs 9 months ago and she and her husband are having a really hard time. 9 months was the worst for me, I am not sure why, but it was like day 1 all over again.
deleted_user
deleted_user
YES there is but hec if I know why?

Happened to me again at 15 months. Not as LONG but was there all the same. No matter how we do so WELL, these markers have a way of biting us hard and taking us back again.

BUT we do get up after quicker, and start all over again, and it gets easier to cope with each time.

HUGS and I know it seems like you are way back, but you ARE moving forward!

HUGS Diane
missingt
missingt
I had the same experience at 9 and now 15 months!! I have better days and then just hits me!! I cry a lot and miss my Husband like I lost him yesterday.It is very hard journey!!!Hugs and peace to all!! Ann
deleted_user
deleted_user
Im at 10 months and have been very weepy (in private) the past 2 weeks. I just wish I could talk to my husband or hug him. It just doesn't make sense to me why this happened.
Sending a hug your way.
Nicker07
Nicker07
"Finding Daylight after Loss Shatters your World, Seven CHoices"
Pages 160-161 Nine-months-since-death-syndrome

For some uncanny reason, people often have a severe relapse nine months after a loss. It happens often enough that researchers even write about it. BUT you have to look at it as YOU are stronger now than in the beginning, and you'll be able to look at what you need to do more quickly and more directly and DO it.
You start losing sleep as bad as in the first days - weeks - you have loss of appetite - cry just as easily - and hate to go to work or get going - It often sets you back because you have no way of understanding what is going on...

Another book says this is the period your mental is finally kicking in they are really not coming back & you are facing that who am I now without them feeling...

Seems there are many stages like that where we do grow and are going forward but I believe we are still fighting it because it was not OUR choice - we do not want it...
SUCKS but makes sense....Hang in there...