Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Yesterday I hosted my husband Victor's memorial at my house,there was a great turnout, over 30 personal friends, family and musician friends and it was clear there was alot of love for Vic as everyone shared their memories of him. I played a video that showed his paintings, along with him playing in his band and discussing his art and music, everyone loved it and I enjoyed spending time with his friends, family and my family. Today I felt very sad, I immediately felt that way after everyone had left yesterday and once again I was alone with just my 3 cats and alot of beautiful flowers people had brought. The sadness still lingered on today. As soon as I awoke the reality of his absence and not returning all seemed even stronger than ever.
My stepson came over today and he felt the same way, we went down to the storage area in the garage and went through some of Vic's paintings, one's that were barely started, half finished, finished etc. etc. So many memories came flooding in with each one I looked at. It was a very sad day, I miss him so much. :-(
My stepson came over today and he felt the same way, we went down to the storage area in the garage and went through some of Vic's paintings, one's that were barely started, half finished, finished etc. etc. So many memories came flooding in with each one I looked at. It was a very sad day, I miss him so much. :-(
He was and is still with you. He was at the party and there looking at every painting with you and you step son. He is in the paintings he left and the music he left. A part of him is in all of these things he loved so much during his time with you. And he is especially in your heart and soul everyday. Try to look at the party as a piece of him was in every person who was there and remembered him in their own way. He must have touched a lot of folks.
Try and put a positive spin on it that, look at the memories you have because of him and the ones you wouldn't have without him.
He is there and will be when your race is done.
Take care.
Peace, Tim
Peace, Tim
He was there at the memorial and he was there when
you and your stepson visited the storage area. Both
of you went to the storage area to connect with him
and he was with both of you. You are fortunate in
having his finished and unfinished paintings as they
will be lifetime memories of your love for him. If it all
works the way we are told, he is already in another
band and is still painting and will have a beautiful
exhibition of his paintings for you when it is your time
to join him.
A night manager at a supermarket said something to
me several months ago and I try to keep it in the
front of my mind. She knew my wife's faith was very
strong. She told me to concentrate on the fact my
wife is happy, healthy and surrounded by love and
is no longer dealing with all of the tribulations and
trials we suffer through each day. She also told me
I was grieving only due to the fact I loved my wife
and miss her and grief is the way to feel and express
that love. Grief is only for those left behind but those
that have left us are are not grieving. Those that
have already left know we shall join them if our
faith is strong.
So I try to think of my wife as happy, healthy and
completely surrounded by love with no stress or
anxiety or other problems. I'll just have to wait my
turn to see it for myself.
Blessings -
Darrell
I just have to take it day by day and follow God's lead, He knows better than me what I need.