Hi Lizbeth,
Nothing is wrong with you. You're grieving. Grieving is not linear, and has no defined timeline. How many times I've been reminded of that.
I read just last night, in a book that Martha recommended, that there is often a wave of grieving at nine months, even with no particular special dates at the time.
Since getting Martha's advice, I've been trying to journal every day - sometimes in the form of a letter to my Rob. It hasn't been easy, but it's helped.
I've learned not to run or hide from the feelings - just let them flow. If you have a trusted friend to talk to, that may help too.
Hugs, Jac

Lizbeth,
absolutely nothing wrong with you. As Jac said the grieving is not linear and can't be put in a box. You just don't know when the waves come even if you expect them. Jan 31 was six months since I lost my Suzanne. A couple days before and even that day I was wondering why I'm not crying. Of course it finally came as others in my family pointed out 6 months.

Other times it's out of the blue as you sit in the car at a traffic light. We don't know but we all here are together so please understand there's nothing wrong and we are here for you.

Jerry

I thought that you were describing me there for a bit . Like you I was Ms I'm doing good, I'm o.k. and at the 8 months mark the dam broke . I had cried before that but I was not letting myself grieve properly and it caught up with me. The tears needed to be shed. Unlike the tears of the beginning these served a better purpose and truly let me grieve and grow. Last night the tears came even at the 2 years mark. This morning I feel much stronger.

Liz,
Isn't it weird how our moods can swing from one moment to the next.

I'm moving along at a really good pace, getting things done and even feeling good about life and then suddenly, like a bolt out of the blue.......it hits me; Morey's gone! He'll NEVER be able to see what I've done and tell me what a great job I'm doing on my own! He was my hero and my biggest champion.

I totally "get" what's happening to you, DON'T let it blindside you. It's only temporary and then YOU will come back and carry on!!!

We're in this together, I promise!

Roz

Looking back at those days I remember well, I can see the necessity of that emotional roller coaster. We learn with each episode of dealing with our circumstances. It's not what we want and the feeling of this can't have happened to me is flipped to it has happened to me and what am I going to do now.

Writing helped me to. I wrote on my DS journal, but also in a pad for my personal use. I often figured things out as I wrote. Sharon

So sorry to hear you are having this much problems. This grief roller coaster we ride. I also finding myself tearing up over small mundane things.
I hope it get easier for you sooner than later.
Hugs, Sandi

A year ago, 1st anniversary. I realize I was still in a fog. This last year, the fog has lifted, and realization has set in. So, here on the 2nd anniversary it seems so raw, so real. the hurt for you, and you alone is dense. Each and every mark has its pain. I only hope that going into this year with me, gets easier. I thought it had, but got blind sighted. I guess it always will..... Sandee

Nothing wrong with you. We are alone, we have to deal with everything from now on, we have no one to confide into, tell our day to day worries. We have the right to cry and feel down at times. Don't beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself. You at least deserve that.

Yesterday was the second anniversary of my husband's death. Kindly, my youngest daughter took the day off to be with me, so we could support one another. For the last few days, I have again cried buckets but I know it is normal. After all, I still miss him and love him and miss him. I know the wave will go away and I will find some peace for a time, till the next wave. Cottage summarised the situation very well.

Believe me, there is nothing wrong with you. You are grieving.

I wish you peace.

Great reply Terri (Cottage) . . . I couldn't have expressed my sentiments any better. I'm with ya'all . . . big round of hugs. xo, Dayna

Like the others here have posted, there is nothing wrong with you. Everyone can grieve differently. I am at the almost 8 month mark... & let me tell you, it is still hard for me... thinking of the upcoming Valentines Day, but I have learned that I have to think about happy memories of that time with him & feel thankful that I have those sweet memories. I don;t really understand why this time is so hard to bear, but I guess its just because it is another "1st Holiday" without my love. I will release balloons into the sky & send him a sweet hug & kiss.

Thank you all for the support that you gave me today. I had a bit of a better day. The children keep me busy and on my toes! I am glad to hear that even in my nearly 3 year journey, I am not going crazy or depressed. It is still "normal" to have days or weeks to go through this all over again. I will have to work on giving myself a break and just let it go, and still grieve if I have to. I really don't have anyone that I feel comfortable talking to about this so I am grateful to have you all for listening. Maybe that's another thing I have to work on, trusting my family enough for their support in what I am still going through. Hugs back to you!