Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
As 2014 comes to a close I am more than happy to say good-bye to what has been a very heartbreaking, painful, and trying year. A year that has rocked me to my core, tested my faith, and brought me to my knees. I was not so sure I was going to make it through those early weeks/months after my husband died, but here I am 8 months later, battered and bruised, but a survivor. I have spent a lot of time this year reflecting back on my life, done a lot of soul searching and answer seeking. I have come to accept that the answers I am looking for are not mine to have, and I have come to appreciate my life on a whole new level. I am thankful for every minute he was in my life, I miss him dearly and will love him forever. This year brought a new beautiful granddaughter into my life I am blessed. I look toward 2015 with trepidation knowing I must continue walking the grief path, and get through the rest of the year of firsts. I am looking forward to the arrival of my 4th grand baby in April, life goes on. I wish all of you a bright, happy, prosperous 2015.
I hope we all have a happy healthy 2015.
Hugs,
Janie
Your post applies to many of us here! The journey through hell as I see it. We are all growing, grieving, changing and evolving, at least in my case, into a gentler, more thankful and kinder person. People who know me share with me that I'm no longer the person I was just a short 9 months ago. Short and long at the same time. Where did the time go because it seemed to move so slow! This year also took a big man to his knees and knocked the wind out of his sails.
Crying became my best friend, savior and enemy all at the same time. I had to over come the tough, suck it up attitude boy are well trained in. I sure my fellow male DS cohorts have had to overcome the same BS in how we were raised. To grieve I had to force my self to set my emotions free to wander and be pondered. It was difficult to do. I learned I was grieving the loss of a new born brother from 1961 that I never dealt with. Next I had never fully closed out a ten year marriage that ended in divorce, but I have two wonderful children from that union. I was grieving that without realizing it. And then the last straw was SJ who I lived with for 5 years and was married to for 26 years. Damn I'm dumping my guts here!
Moral of the story at least for me I had to really figure out what I was grieving to really get going. All of this was just figured out 6 weeks ago by a special person who has the ability to crawl into my head and sense my feelings. When this was presented to me that I was grieving much more than was apparent to my conscious mind, things kind of fell into place and I started processing my grief. I just provide my experience so others may want to examine if their is another issue you are grappling with beside the apparent one. Wish all here a Happy and great 2015. I know in my case this has been the worst year ever in my life. 5 deaths with 3 very close to me. Frankly this year has really sucked but, I have my health (pretty much anyway) great children (far, far away), a couple of great friends (one close, one far, far away) and want for nothing. And to top it off my weird, witty and often strange sense of humor is creeping back into my persona. Can't seem to shut up! Hugs and the very best wishes to all of you in DS land! Cheers! Dewman