My doctor recommended the OTC sleeping aids or Benadryl. Probably for the first year, I took the sleeping aids and I finally stopped using them. I honestly thought I would have to take them for the rest of my life. What I found out was that I was spending way too much time sleeping and that was contributing to my mood. I think sleep was my escape in the beginning. I wish you luck in finding something that works for you.

Nessie from KY

Thank you for your reply kynessie. Benadryl and such are not nearly strong enough for me. They do nothing to help me sleep. I know that too much sleep is not the problem for me. 4 hours is the maximum I get without meds. I've always been an 8 hour a night person and never did well with less even in my youth. Sleep is a great escape from reality and I would love to have at least a few hours of not feeling any emotions. Hopefully it will get better IF my health holds up!

I'm having sleep (nonsleep really )issues still at seventeen months after my husband's death and truly despaired of ever resuming any kind of normal sleep pattern. Also, no dreaming since REM sleep was out of the question. I would stay awake until exhaustion took over, then conk out for an hour or so and jerk awake and start all over. No kind of restful slumber day or night, just total disruption. Meds were out for me because of my many allergies. Finally, I abandoned all pretense of any routine pattern of sleeping or eating at all, and reverted to what I would do for my children when they had lost all contact with "a regular schedule" as babies....I fed them when they were hungry and let them sleep when they were tired and tried to nudge them by little bits into joining the rest of the famly on the three squares a day to eat, and sleep when it's nighttime.... starting with eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired, never mind the clock and/or the time of day. Once I gave myself permission to do this wholeheartedly, making myself an egg, toast and tea at three thirty in the morning and sleeping until the mail came at 11:30 am, then having a bowl of soup or a bagel and carrots, darned if I didn't start to sleep! And get hungry! And call the kids and ask for pizza, and roast beef, and dates out with my family! And FINALLY FINALLY after prayer after prayer, a real DREAM of my husband! and sweet restorative SLEEP! No pills, no sleep machine, just something besides soda and peanut butter sandwiches and a hot dog, and letting everythingelse go but getting rest and enough food....and this from the always dieting one! We truly have to treat ourselves gently...our grief is tough enough on us...we need to listen to our friends here and drink our water, eat, try to rest more, go slow, just take it one day at a time....just do the one next thing...get outside, take walks....good advice all I think...it keeps us moving, but not racing; our friends who understand so well what we face are supportive but not pushing us to do more than we can bear at any given time...there's a blessing for us all...it's a routine to come to DS for advice and understanding; it's a routine to be hydrated and fed before trying to sleep for a period of time; I don't want to sacrifice the chance for dreams to the certainty of a low blood sugar drop or dehydration; together we can remind each other of the basics we all know, but lose track of in the haze of sorrow; wishing us all rest and comfort...Stormanchor

Stormanchor certainly gave a thorough reply, but I'll add what has helped me - an inexpensive sound machine. I also take Melatonin. I tried a prescription medication, wanting so badly to string more than two hours of sleep together, but it made me way too drowsy in the morning. Good luck.

Try sleep meditation, it relaxes body and mind... I will find one for you and post it. I also take Rhodiola during the day, it works great for anxiety and calms the brain. At night I take ashwaganda and drink tart chery juice. Then meditate. It started helping me a bit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TDcGYmEgyM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJw7SsWUJsE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoON2W5y0V4

Thank you LubaLuba. I will try the meditation.

I am at 18 months and still have sleep issues, have tried medication, melatonin etc and nothing has helped. Last night was especially bad. I will try the suggestions on here. I hadn't thought of tart cherry juice, hope I can find it. Hope this improves for us all.

Boy,oh,boy, talk about a fog! I totally FORGOT about my CD's of the ocean and the forest and the river and the wind...DUH!!! I never even thought of how I used to just drift off to sleep to the sound of the waves and the pulse of the water....how could I have forgotten?? I brought the player home from the hospital with the music my husband loved so much and stuffed it on a bookshelf and never thought of it as comfort for myself again...only a reminder of that time when comfort wasn't enough. The second I read coffeeforme's "sound machine" and Luba's "meditation"
it all came back in an instant...how could I have forgotten something that used to sooth me so much through the puny little stresses of report cards for students and taxes and broken arms from falls? When I really needed comfort and rest, why did it flee my thought? I searched high and low until I found the CD player this morning and then realized I could have used the stereo player or the radio CD or the computer slot...I'd say FOCUS is not my strong suite right now. I thought I was doing pretty good! I listened to parts of the meditation talk downs posted on line and could barely keep my eyes open. Good grief...literally...the promise of sleep!! Many minds on a problem bring so much experience and solution- making to the situation! Thank you a thousandfold. I can't wait for this day to close with this new blessing at hand.
Sandra

For my sleep troubles my therapist suggested an app (for smartphone, tablet or computer) that she has used with good success in other patients suffering with sleeplessness. It's called "Breathe2Relax". After a week or 2 of using it, I found that I began to regulate my breathing on my own and get to sleep more readily most nights. It helped me with initially getting to sleep and also getting back to sleep if I woke in the middle of the night. Another thing I have learned to avoid are devices with active displays. I found that using my tablet when reading was contributing to keeping me awake. Eight months out and I 'm still not sleeping as much as I'd like but it's definitely improved.