Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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cheri4810 12/05/2015

Sometimes
I am lonely beyond belief and nothing can relieve the pain.
Sometimes
I can almost hear your voice but when I stop and really listen silence greets me instead.
Sometimes
I turn around expecting you to be standing there with that shit ass grin on your face but when I turn around you are not there and the void presses down.
Sometimes
I need your arms around me so bad that I hug the urn that holds your ashes and amazingly a small amount of comfort can be found.
Sometimes
My heart imagines that you can feel that hug too.
Always
I am wanting to share things with you and am slapped in the face when I cannot.
Always
Love fills my heart at the thought of you and the impossibility that you are gone.
Always
I miss you and find myself saying this out loud though out the day.
There are days
When I hurt so bad that I cannot see the point of going on.
Then there are the days
When I feel good and hopeful. Unfortunately these days are also filled with guilt that I must not really love you if I am able to feel good without you.
I am at a loss
On how to navigate this world of grief.
I only know that
I hate this and wish it would be over already.
Sigh

lori001 12/05/2015

Yes, this is exactly how it feels! Beautifully written. Thank you.

emerald15 12/05/2015

Hi Cheri, Beautifully said, but oh so sad and heartbreaking to yearn for my husband, feel his physical presence. I miss John terrible. He had a beautiful tenor singing voice. And yes, I hug his Urn on his bedroom dresser too. I made up a little "Johnny Box" that I got from Michaels. I put all his little tidbits in there, his wedding ring, wedding tie, our photos and anniversary cards, his prayer cards. Yes, the heartache of missing him is awful. At night I just gaze up to the night sky and wonder, where are you Johnny?

But I will make it through this journey of grief, with all the rest of our wonderful, understanding friends here on DS. Take care, Sheri.
Hugs, Nanette

cliffskat 12/05/2015

Well said, Cheri, very well said....

Love and Big Hugs,
Martha

loveddogs 12/05/2015

So very true! Hugs and Love, Michele

wendimac 12/05/2015

I feel the same way...I have two urns on a table in the living room, surrounded by pictures, his songs and poetry, his guitar, and other things I have found that remind me of him..and yes...I kiss the small urn every day...whenever I would be rushing out of the house, my husband would yell 'Hey, where's my kiss?'

newwidower 12/05/2015

Wow that's a great piece of writing. I can feel your loss, and you made me feel mine too. Thanks for writing this. Chris

joannklingaman 12/05/2015

Thank you cheri. My sentiments exactly. I so wish we could go back in time & start over. I wouldn't hardly change anything other than
loving him even more !!!!!

billskath 12/05/2015

It is so hard! I never realized just how hard being without him would be. Your poem says it all...

carrie415 12/05/2015

I needed this tonight for some reasons, more than other nights. Spent a night a Christmas party and wondered what I was doing there. Just made his absent that much more exaggerated. I felt crippled tonight. So many happy couplesI ask,,,where did you go?? Missing you so very much..

cheri4810 12/06/2015

Thank you everyone. I do not write much, but read all the time. I am so thankful for this board.

Cheri~

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