Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
So it has been 60 days. I am back in California on business and work has been keeping me very busy but today I woke up from a scary dream about my husband i couldn't figure out why i couldn't shake it. On the way back to the hotel after work i realized it was the 29th and it was 60 days and immediately began crying, on 30 days I had to spend the day in bed so I was glad that it didn't click this morning when I was in the shower hysterically crying from my dream. Pretty sure I blocked it out because I couldn't handle it. Tonight I am going to have dinner with a coworker and hopefully I don't break, I am really trying to stay strong but this is so painful! I just so want my wonderful husband back and the realization that is not going to happen breaks my heart.
I'm sorry for your grief & the uncomfortable dream you experienced. I know how much you love & miss your husband; this is a tragic time for you. Just a note to help explain what's going on. An occasional frightening dream is expected from time to time. However when the dreams are illogical & persistent ones, this is difficult because of the nature of those constant troubling thoughts, and the disturbing dream is due to a state of unconscious reaction which happens during the dream stages. To further explain, anxiety is generating certain fears of which issues are very difficult for you to confront now. And you do have a very good supply of sensitive feelings you need to express; let things out, because what's disturbing are ideas about what is forthcoming in your life. And it is the fear to open up with communicating that's causing pressure during sleep, much like over inflating a tire; the pressure is rising, and, figuratively, your dreams are over exaggerating to the point of tiring out your mind as you bed down to relax. Most likely, you are exhausted after awakening too. What may help is directly opening up to what's clearly bothering you, reason out your thoughts & feelings. Give yourself a good moment on time to sort through & process your emotions, for the sake of useful feedback & to develop a plan of coping skills. I'd find a good, trusted family member or friend to talk to. Then you may also practice relaxation techniques before bedtime, such as: a warm tub bath; a drink of herbal teas (caffeine free), restful sounds, soothing aromatic fragrances, good body stretches, and the list goes on- you add what is reasonable ideas to use for the sake of a good night's sleep.
I hope the best for you & many hugs of comfort for you today!
Remiah <3
Yes, this is frightening and heartbreaking to realize he's not coming back. Only 60 days ago he was alive, and the process of acceptance of the fact that he's no more is slow and painful. Coming to terms with the loss and its finality is the hardest part of the grieving process. I wish I could be there for you to hold your hand, and just to sit there with you and listen.