That first 2 years were tough for me. All the first to get through and then the finality of it hitting me in that 2 nd year. It will be 5 for me in March and I am doing so much better. I still miss him so much but now can let the memories come without it being so painful, the memories now comfort me! The pain while never goes away lessens and becomes easier to deal with. Hugs!!!!

Terry,

I can just hear the pain and heartache in your post. I am so sorry for all you are going through. First let me say 45 years is quite a testament to true love! How blessed you were to have such a long marriage together. I was married for 37 yrs. and everyday I learn how truly blessed I was. I just want to yell at people and tell them to not take a day for granted. It has been 1 yr. 3mo. for me and I am finally starting see a little light in my life. You are still very new to this journey so don't try to rush things. You have to go through the dark to get to the light. Lean on your family and friends both near you and here at DS. We all want the best for you my friend.

Hugs,

Robin

terry its b 3 years sun 22nd jan 4 me the pain does lessens .u can talk about them without crying .here 4 u hugs dave

tERRY,

At 6 months I remember it being one of the roughest. I would have a good memory, and then a last moments memory. they would come every day. One minute smile, and the next crying. This last month was athe toughest yet for me too, and coming in on one year mark in the next in a few weeks.

I'm not as far along as tese wise ladies before me, but I too, can say that as it seems to be much more confusing to me now, and I want to see what I 'want to be when I grow up", it's also less of the gut wrenching pain "I had. I always have a thought of himk ALL DAY still, but many more smiles than tears. I still have meltdowns, but not as severe as they were. I know there's alot more to go and I know I'm waffling pretty good now day to day, but it does get a bit lessm, painful, more confusing, and hopefully in the next year more clarity.If that is possible.

the candle is such a great idea! I do that as well on special days. when it flickers I always think he';s there, and letting me know it! Hopes for you that yuor candle flickers all night for you tonight. He was also blessed and honored to have you my f riend.

Wish I knew more, but I belive that we all will make it through all of this.

HUGS diane

Terry you are still early on in your grief journey. I think I was just coming out of the numb phase at six months. It has been over a year for me and the raw pain is much better than it was at six months. This is a long journey we are on, just know you are alone, we are here to walk this journey with you, Hugs Lu Ann

Terry, wow 45 years together is truly a blessing. Yes, it is still very painful and I am not much further down this road then you. At 8 months I do find more happy memories than sad ones, and that has only been in the last month, due to everyone here on DS. Yes I still cry everyday as I miss and love him so much but it is not the excruciating pain or last as long as it did the first 6 months for me. I only had 28 years with my husband but I have a lifetime of memories that I am grateful for, that will help carry me through.....hugs

Terry
I found the 6 month mark very difficult. I will be at 14 months on.the 20th and the pain while still with me is not as brutel as it was at six months. Hugs to.you today for making it to.six months.

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. It means so much to me. It gives me hope to hear that the pain lessons with time and the sweet memories remain. Praying for each of you on your journey too. Hugs, Terry

Sending you love and hugs on this day Terry. Tomorrow will be 6 months for me. :( We were together 37 years. Somehow we just keep gathering the strength to continue on this journey. I know there are brighter days ahead for us all...Wendy

Terry, my heart hurts for you. It has been almost 16 months for me and it is still a roller coaster of emotions. I have found reading bereavement books by others who have written about their experience helpful and proactive in my walk---but it's a long deeply sad process. I do look back at last year at this time and know I am "better" but still it's a hard time. It will get better----posts by those ahead of me on this path encourage me to know it will eventually be less poignant, but Stan's memory will always be with me which is what I want---a way to incorporate the memories into this new life.
With understanding, Sallie