Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Hi All - Just wondering when do the tears stop. This week has just been another bad week. I am so down & find myself crying a lot, especially in the evenings. I just started a new job this week (full time) plus I am trying to pack some things up and get my house ready to list with a realtor. So of course there are little projects that need done (and my husband isn't here to do them). I guess its just the fact that I am moving. But not moving with my husband. Its just not the same. Moving into a new house should be a happy thing. But I am not happy at all. I want Tom to be here with me. We were to retire & enjoy our retirement home together. Will I ever feel happy again?
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NEVER AGAIN ... is such a long time ... PRAYERS!
You will get through this, and yes there will be a time when you are happy again. Life will be different, but it will be good again. Not in the same ways perhaps, but your heart will heal enough to allow some joy into your life. Every day is a baby step forward, even when it doesn't feel like it.
There are always changes and challenges, and there always have been, but it is so hard when it's just you. I sometimes look back on that first year and cannot understand how I survived it. Seriously! I never wanted to give up on the dreams and plans we had, it was just so danged unfair. And it is still unfair, and I guess some part of me will always feel that way. But it doesn't stop me from living my life and finding new ways of being happy, and even rediscovering some old ways of finding joy that I had almost forgotten about.
Moving and listing the house - I am with you there - painful. I had to travel back to Florida and spent a month doing that. If I hadn't called upon old friends for help, I couldn't have done it. This is a time to reach out to those people who said "if you need anything" - you need it now. Don't make the process harder on yourself - you need to lean on family and friends right now, if you have got any support there, use it. The worst anyone can so is 'no.'
I am sorry you are having a rough time, and I know it's not much to have somebody say 'me too' but I wanted you to know you are not alone, and that you will get through this. Don't give up.
Love and Big Hugs,
Martha