I'm just like you. When I first joined, days after losing Tracey 9 months ago, i was looking for answers, guidance as to what i was going through and hope. I hoped that I would be coming out of the tunnel into sunlight by now. I suppose our grief takes different forms and none of us are the same, based on our family life, our lives and experiences. But recently I've found that the reality has hit home, probably because the fog has lifted and I'm going about doing normal things and its all different now. Although many of my routines are as they were before - somethings missing, something huge. Thats whats difficult to get used to. I cry less often now, but I still have moments when I find myself in a crumpled mess on the floor. I'm able to laugh, but not without thinking of Tracey and wishing she were here to enjoy life with me.
I'm grateful to all those people who's messages I read during those long dark nights, thank you. I hope that somehow our messages also help those who are just joining us on this awful journey.

Your are right when you say there is no time line for grieving. We are all different people with very different emotional baselines. There is no right or wrong way of grieving. Just as there is no wrong or right way of loving deeply. Give yourself time. You will heal.

If it is of any comfort to you, this appears to be the norm. In my case I was getting along OK after the initial period of grief following my husband's death. I had good days and bad but was coping. About 9 months later it hit me like a ton of bricks. I would be doing something and notice that tears were running down my face and I was not even aware that I was crying. The grief was intense. It has now been over a year and I'm back to the OK stage...not jumping up and down for joy happy,but not the grief that I was experiencing. Hang in there please!

Wow it amazes me how much we all are alike. 9 Months was very hard and even now at almost (Aug 21st) a year still hard. Sometimes I am hesitant about posting that I am having a hard time because I don't want to scare someone who is at a newer stage.
I also rememeber reading posts and thinking it can't last that long can it?
I have now come to the realization that there is no end. I understand that greif the waves of grief will come less often, but it will always be there.
I am now trying to come to terms with that. I am a beginning, middle and end kinda person so it's hard to wrap my head around that.
Hugs, Sandi

Here I am at 18 months. Yes, a year and a half later. There are still moments when you feel it is all a bad dream. But in the most, I have found myself again. And I am OK with it. I realize that I am alone. Noone to share with, eat with or even talk to. But I also realize that I don't really need anyone, I am strong, and can take care of myself, and make the right decisions for my life. Only praying I don't have a severe health problem that keeps me from doing that. So, after having him in my life for 50 years. It is finally OK. You have to work it out for yourself. No one else can do it for you.
Sandee

Kate;
I don't think anyone here has actually said time "heals all wounds".
I think that's something that some philosopher probably said that had not yet went through life's greatest trauma. I think that basically what's been said here is that time eases the overall effect of what we've went through. Of course I know from my own position and time frame that, no it will never go away, but I has lessened somewhat.

Geo.