Oh Patti,
My heart feels for you. Those thoughts will come at you, some days, especially during the early stages. Let them flow through you, They will pass, eventually they will fade.
I'm thinking of you and you are in my prayers.........keep posting, my friend........big hugs ....Sandra

It seems to be a constant circle...and constant trips to therapy.

I am so sorry about your loss and about all those painful things you are going through. I have four kids, and when my wonderful husband died in Oct. 2014, there were so many events that happened that broke my heart again, and again, and again. My one son turned 21 in Dec. 2014. My other son graduated high school in June, 2015, and so on. And on each occasion I just felt like my heart was being pierced. It is so unfair. My husband didn't mean to leave us, but here we are without him. So sad. Grief counseling definitely helped me, and also a great support group of widows and widowers who understand how I feel without me having to say a word. Also this forum, because you can say anything here!! Keep breathing in and out, and try very hard to take good care of yourself.

I understand the pain you deal with. This is my biggest nightmare and I am sorry you are hurting. Sharon

I am sorry for your loss, and I understand the pain. I am glad you have a therapist, as it is a painful, difficult journey. One step at a time, and remember to take care of you.
Hugs
Katrina

I understand completely because this could have been written by me. It will be 5 months tomorrow and I am only getting worse and not better. The pain is more intense and the periods between when I feel not as bad and when I feel awful are shorter. This roller coaster ride that I am on is making me feel so crazy and to top it off I am getting very little support from family which is scattered all over the country. My love of 36 years is gone and I am left alone trying to make it to the next day. How do we get over this devastation?

I don't think we do get over it shirlram.... I think we just learn how to survive ...

A little over 7 months for me. I'm still feeling alone after Sandra passed away. I don't feel angry, just sad because she was so young and she enjoyed life so much. I'm experiencing things in her family that she won't experience. Guilty that she won't be around for our two boys. She won't be at family gatherings. Ok, enough whining from me. Someone that will listen to us is an indispensable asset, especially when they don't try to fix things and just be there. Be patient with this new site, I don't want to lose others.
Kevin

Particia how do we learn to survive? Every day I am just struggling to make it to the next day. I don't want to live another 20-25 years without my husband Willie. I am so afraid that God will just play another cruel joke on me and force me to live a very long life without my love. To Kevin I am so very sorry for your loss .I'm sorry but I am new to this site and don't know what you are referring to