You don't have to apologize for anything you have written. You have had the worst thing possible happen to you...you lost the love of your life. Scream, rant, cry...let it out because to hold it in is impossible.

Our world is upside down and we are just trying to hang on so we don't fall off. I'm at just a little over 3 months so I don't have many answers, but I do know that there is no time line or direct route through this nightmare called grief. It's a vicious beast and comes at you when you least expect it. Be kind to yourself and remember that this is the place to come and let it all out. Everyone here understands all too well what you are feeling and no one will judge.
Sending lots of love and prayers your way.
Blessings, Sharon

Hey Ray, I am so sorry for your loss and all the pain you are experiencing. There is really no sugarcoating this journey...IT SUCKS!!! It is the hardest thing you can ever be asked to get through, I understand...Maria was my world, we didnt have children so we were each others world, we were always with each other day in day out as we ran a business together for 12 years. My business has since fallen apart and I struggle each day with what to do with this life. Im angry at times, I cry everyday sometimes most of the day. I go through phases where I dont want to leave the house or be bothered with people. but there are times when I get sick of being home and alone so I start trying to get out little by little. Its Ok to feel all these felings you have, just stay connected to your family and friends and this site, maybe seek counseling or group or one on one therapy with Hospice or local church. Never give up Ray..one day you will see a light that will give you the strength to take the steps you need to survive. Take your time and grieve how you feel is best for you, and believe that Jamie is loving you through it all. God bless, Bernard

Sharon Thanks For The Love And Prayers, Much Needed. Ray

When I read posts like yours it brings back those awful memories when the grief was so new. My world was still spinning, I was in full anger mode, disorientation, etc. Had not direction and felt nothing but anguish. My gentle good news for you is that although you are feeling like you are, everyone of us who have walked this road has felt the same anguish and pain. You are very normal. More gentle good news is that somewhere, sometime down the road the pain will lessen and you will begin to heal. I wish there were a way to skip the awful part you are in but none of has has found it. My advice is hang in there. Do all the crying you need to and come here and way whatever is on your mind at the moment. these things will help you on your journey. Warm hugs going out to you!

Ray, it's been 3weeks for me and the last few days have been the worst, I've been angry, scared, lonely and screaming all the time.
Feel how you feel and trust that the people ahead of us are right and things will become better and we will again be able to live a life we may even enjoy
Hugs, Margie

The pain is real. It hurts and burns like your heart has been ripped out. Surgery without anesthesia comes close to describing it. Yet it will become bearable as wounds both physical and emotional do. Until then you are with people who understand and offer their support for you. One day at a time, moment by moment, take baby steps-all mean the same, but help little when breathing is a challenge. So what can I offer? Just my loving support and encouragement for you to hang on to as the minutes tick by. Hugs to you who suffer. Sharon

Thanks To All Of You. We Are All In This Together Just At Differen't Stages. Iam Just A Very Weak Link Now. Ray

You are not weak...you are heartbroken...come here often if just to read and have friends validate and understand the sadness of our hearts. I have been here for almost 2 years and here is where I have found friends whom totally get it...peace..sandy
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