Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Hard to believe it was 4 months today that our families lives changed so much with Ken's passing.. We knew how much he did and how much me ment to us before but you really realize how much you take it for granted that your loved one is there till they are gone.. You really miss the small things like that hug and I love you..it is totally different to lose a spouse than to lose a close family member. You lose part of you.. It's lonelier you have to learn to live with not being able to share a moment of the day.. the hugs, that I love you in the morning and the I love you before bed.. Really no one unless they have gone through it knows what it is like.. you just go day to day min to min.. Many people don't want his name mentioned but he was part of my life always will be..the memories help that is for sure..
I opened Ken's email the other day and our son has emailed his Dad a couple of times.. he told him he is going to be a Daddy and that he was sure that his Dad had something to do with it and added a bit of humour and said if you can make it a boy he would be pleased.. Then he emailed him to add how much in love he is and has asked his gf to marry him nad she said yes and how much he knew his Dad would have liked her.. It's things like that new memories.. I do share them with Ken I look at his picture and tell him..
I just fine this loneliness very hard.. I've had to sadly go on medication because I couldn't stop crying. Hoping to not be on it long.. just to get me over this hump..
Thanks for listening to me vent.. I haven't been around much lately sorry I hope all are doing okay.. I know fine or good really isn't in our vocab it's just doing okay..
Lois
I opened Ken's email the other day and our son has emailed his Dad a couple of times.. he told him he is going to be a Daddy and that he was sure that his Dad had something to do with it and added a bit of humour and said if you can make it a boy he would be pleased.. Then he emailed him to add how much in love he is and has asked his gf to marry him nad she said yes and how much he knew his Dad would have liked her.. It's things like that new memories.. I do share them with Ken I look at his picture and tell him..
I just fine this loneliness very hard.. I've had to sadly go on medication because I couldn't stop crying. Hoping to not be on it long.. just to get me over this hump..
Thanks for listening to me vent.. I haven't been around much lately sorry I hope all are doing okay.. I know fine or good really isn't in our vocab it's just doing okay..
Lois
I had originally started counting the weeks until I decided to lose track (on purpose) around the 4 month mark.
Not having that one person to share everything with is the toughest part for me too. C.J. was my "go to" person, he always listened and made me feel like whatever was on my mind, it was the most important thing in the world (even when it wasn't).
No one can fill the emptiness I've been left with the past four months and even though I have a strong support group through my family and friends, they can never fully understand how I feel. Really, how could they?
I totally get where you're coming from and just know that you're not alone here. Wishing you peace and brighter days. S.
I take a weak lorazepan, once in a while, to help with my anxiety,lately
I think today may be the 4 month marker for me..it was March 15, that Phil~graciously and ever so bravely, left this earth.
It was Tuesday, and so is today.
I was in the supermarket today, and noticed a woman slumped over her cart, walking so slowy. She is a bit older than I...but, I saw the hurt in her eyes/body. I said cheerfully, hi, how are you today? She said fine, and went her opposite way...She turned around, and came back to me, and said..." I know you don't I? We talked for awhile...and
she buried her husband March 15, the day mine left. We chatted for a long while...and exchanged numbers. She is 83, I am 56. We each feel the same pain...
((Hugs))
Debi
He passed at 1:01 in the morning, and I was there holding his hand, and talking to him. Telling him that I would always love him. that I would be Ok.I lied of course, as we all do. Around the fourth month, I started waking up around 1 am for weeks.
I still now talk to him all the time. I write to him, and I try to share the moments in my life with him even though as someone here so eloquently put it, through a long distance relationship.
I wiish there was something I could say to take your pain away, but please know that you are not alone, and that so many of us understand exactly what you are feeling.....LOSS.
(((HUGS))) and hopes for a peaceful night. Diane
Talking about our loves does help. We talk about my husband all the time. I need to keep his memories alive for our kids. But some people do get tense when I bring up his name. I know what you mean about that. We just have to keep moving along this path as best we can, doing what we need to do to make this journey tolerable. Hugs to you today, Dawn
Lois