Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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hope54 02/27/2013

Today is 4 months since my husband passed away and Saturday will be his birthday. This is one of those firsts that I am dreading having to face.
I'm not sure what to do on Saturday. Does anyone have any suggestions on what you do on your loved ones birthday.
We used to go away for the weekend every year on his birthday because the local wineries have an ice wine festival this weekend, so we would go up and spend the weekend at a state park lodge. Not sure if I want to attend this event alone. Not too many single people visit the wineries and I would feel out of place.
Probably the anticipation of this day approaching is why I am feeling so sad this week.
Rae

gerald222 02/27/2013

First of all I am truly sorry for your loss. My wifes birthday was 11 days after she passed away. I always bought her a dozen roses for her birthday. Since it was winter here I had a dozen silk roses made into a wreath to put by her grave. I wanted to acknowledge her day but once again we have to adapt with the huge change that has occurred in our life. Those kind of days are painful and maybe others further along have other ideas. We will all be with you in spirit. God bless.

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deleted_user 02/27/2013

Jeff birthday was on Jan 22nd, I lit a candle and went out to dinner with a friend. It's funny though, all the firsts, the ones that I had the most anxiety about were ok, the ones I didn't plan for were horrible. So I would suggest what ever you do, plan it in advance and expect the day to have its ups and downs.

kynessie 02/27/2013

On Brian's birthday, I usually take the day off from work and stay home by myself. It's been two years for me and I've went thru all the holidays twice now. I just went through my third Valentine's Day. However, it's my birthday, his birthday, and our anniversary that seem to the be hardest for me. I have until June to decide if I will take our anniversay off.

One piece of advice that I can give is that the preparation and anticipation of those special days was worse for me than the actual day itself. Be good to yourself and make it special if you need to.

Nessie from KY

deleted_user 02/27/2013

Today is 3 months since my wife passed away. Her birthday and our anniversary is less than a month away and it is already affecting me. March is a big month for us: birthdays: hers, our son's, our youngest daughter, our son-in-law, and both of my parents who have passed.
I have been dreading March coming and now that it is around the corner, I realize that I am not ready for it. Too many firsts this month. The anticipation of this month is turning into anxiety. I am looking for a local support group or grief counselor to help me, but living in rural Texas does not offer very many...

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