Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
She treats me with such disrespect. .I've been trying to understand why..and I have come to realize that it's her. She truly became a snob while married to her first husband. .and now she looks down at people and it's funny because the only ones willing to help her are the 2 she dislikes the most. .she thinks her brother is a low life..he knows this too but bends over backwards for her..and me too actually. .always talking talking to try to get her to like me..and she openly rolls her eyes at me. Pretty much that bad. ..she makes me feel so low..I'm not sure why I allow her to do this to me. Cause I know it's a reflection on her..she's 38 and knows my husband her Father has been terminally sick and in his last days she couldn't even be bothered to visit him..and yet I want her to be loving..but she isn't. It's so weird to think I have a daughter such as her..it rocks me to my very soul. Yet am happy her BF was thrown in jail and she had no place to come but herr btw she complains about his dogs the smells..good grief..cause I am seeing her for who she is and it hurts my heart so much but I have to let her go. Am glad I am seeing her for who she really is now.
Your daughter is selfish and too old to be acting out like this..It seems like you are the enabler to her rants and allow this behavior..I know kids can put guilt on you and want to blame someone else for their their failings..Only you can allow it, sounds like you've been a good Mom..quit feeling guilty...You can only take your kids so far in their life's journey..then they have to find their own path through the territory..
I'm fortunate I have three grown daughters, who have been wonderful through this journey of grieve, because they are also grieving the loss of their wonderful father...and my grand kids are also grieving their grandfather...Take care of you Shelda, peace and prayers...Gail...
I'm so sorry for what you're experiencing. But I'm glad you chose to reach out and vent to us. We're here to listen. What you're going through isn't easy, especially since your daughter is an adult. However, don't underestimate the positive influence you can still have on her. I encourage you to spend one on one time with her and draw her in by allowing her to speak. As an adult daughter myself, I find that when I'm in a mood, I'm best disarmed by a willing ear and encouraged when my mom asks if I want feedback or a suggestion. She may have or currently be experiencing an emotional struggle and stress. I don't know what type of relationship you have with your daughter, but she may need you to be her mom, not her friend. Be confident in setting boundaries as a reminder that while you're there for her, you are to be respected. When my mom has done this with me, I'm convicted that I'm to respect her regardless of where I am or who I become, even if I'm a bit miffed at first. We're here for you!
Hugs, Nanette