That's why we're here Gail . . to help lend and ear and give lots of hugs. Glad you found us . . it will get better with time. Hang in there! Hugs, D

Oh! Gail, I know exactly what you're saying. It seems like such a lousy prank, this thing called "life!"

I know how much you miss your man, me too! Every minute of every day. Nothing looks, feels or smells the same. Life is so different without your love in it!

We must go on......through each day....we MUST survive. We will watch our parents deteriorate, it's so difficult and so sad.....again, I know!

Gail, like Dayna said, we're here.....we know.

Let it go and hand on!

Roz

HANG on!

I have noticed the trivial things people complain about recently too. My husband and I never fought and I do mean never. When my mom died after her funeral I snapped at him and I thought my kids were going to go into shock! Oh yes, we had discussions, but this silly bickering and fighting over stupid stuff that people do is such a waste of time. I want to shake people and say "you are sooo lucky your spouse/partner is alive. Mine isn't.

Loveddogs, I agree with you ... when my friends start to complain about their husbands, I just give them a look, and they realize they better stop.
I'm not listening to any trivial complaints, not about your husband, not about ANYTHING.
My heart's been ripped from my chest, and my life will never be the same.

Gail,
I so understand what you are saying. I also find myself annoyed and sometimes angry at the things people complain about. Because they have not experienced what we are going through, they complain just like I used to, about the little things. Things we now know do not matter. I am annoyed and sometimes may I say envious. Wishing he was here, like their spouses are. I also do not know how I am to go on, and somehow find some joy and hope. Life now seems unbearable, daily full of pain. I no longer hear from some people who used to call me regularly. I understand that their lives do go on, and should go on. But I do wonder where is the compassion, where is the interest in my life that they used to exhibit. I hope to meet new friends. But in my small town, I have no idea where these new people will come from. My heart is with you. I pray that we all find hope and joy one day. I also miss my husband so very much. He was my everything. Being alone is so hard. And life is now scary. May God help us all. Thinking of you.

Gail,
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband of almost 47 years on August 9, 2013 to lung cancer. We were attached at the hip. We did everything together and were soul mates .i relate so much to your comment of feeling no joy in anything. I was numb. And seeing older couples holding hands just did me in. We had turned the last corner before retiring ( we were planning to retire in the beginning of 2014). So all our plans of having all our time together just vanished in thin Air.
I was lucky to be working with wonderful and caring people in my department at a global law firm. I had worked with my boss for 32 years - through 3 different firms- and they were a big support to me. I finally retired in February of this year. I had mixed feelings about leaving as I know I would be losing that base of support on a daily basis. My daughter kept me busy to begin with with a trip to Hawaii and then in March we went to London for a week and had an awesome time. But then it was time to come back to reality.
I moved back into our home in a Southern California mountain resort community full time (we had been living during the week in a small place in the foothills by Los Angeles to be close to our places of employment).
So I now feel like I have gone backwards in my grief journey quite a ways as I am living the retirement life we were supposed to have together up here.......alone. Moved up April 15 and have had trouble coping, being here without my Steve. After 22 months I have finally joined a Grief Share group and I think that is helping. The last two days were positive and gave some joy to see a couple of young squirrels scampering over a roof and I found a white feather out back. That was a first. I'm looking forward to more positive and happy days ahead.

Hugs to everyone on our journey,
Marsha

I remember in the early days of grief looking at friends & family that were couples feeling sad knowing that one day they too would have to go through this and feel this way. It's also a surprise in those who step up to help and those that don't.

I heard a line in a show recently that rang true - you just have to keep living until you are alive again. Being here and hearing from others that they have found joy again in many different ways is encouraging.

I wish you peace and strength. Hugs, Liz

When I saw couples holding hands, I am happy for them because I saw me in them. My wife and I hold hands always. One of my Chinese friends actually felt weird because he thought we were too old to do that and he said he and his wife never hold hands. But we hold hands, we still do....in my heart I hold her hands all the time...all the time. Hugs, Tiger