Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
These last few days have been filled with crying, sleeping, not sleeping and repeat, not necessarily in that order. Just pure agony. Been waiting on funds from my husbands retirement, now mine and am tired of living on borrowed money. That is not something we did. Called them last week at two weeks, oh it takes time to get everything changed blah blah blah, you should have it by early July. So I call again today at 3 weeks and am told by the gal answering the phone that the guy tried to call me last week several times to clarify exactly what I wanted to withdraw. Oh really, wasn't that the reason I had an appointment and went to his office to specifically tell him exactly what I wanted. I say, I never got any calls from him. Well of course not they were calling my husband's number and he is DEAD! For god sake how stupid can people be. Ok if they didn't have my number, though I know they do somewhere. then fricken google me, they know I am a realtor here in town, send me a post card, show up at my door. Anything. The stinking creditors aren't having trouble finding me. Then I get a call a few minutes later from the main office to clarify what I want to withdraw and oh yes it will take time so I should have the funds by NEXT Monday. Then another call comes from the local office and another gal says she really thinks they can have funds in my account this Friday. Yeah, right. I was not a happy camper. After waiting for 7 weeks and then going to get a death certificate now this is going to take a month?? Needless to say I let all three know that this was unacceptable and if this is the bull I have to go through and wait this long, then maybe I need to be moving all of the money elsewhere. Like I need any more stress, I just want my husband back and all everyone is doing is adding insult to injury. And I can't stop crying again. Thanks for letting me vent. Hugs to all, Michele
newwidower
Here's hoping things smooth out. I can't believe that your financial companies are so insensitive. They say not to make any big decisions for a year after your loss, but you might get better service elsewhere. Good luck. Chris
barbarame
This too will pass my dear.So let things just happen now. don t be adding to your stress xxxxxxxxxxxxx
hgsdms
So sorry that you are having all these problems loaded on top of your grief. I like your comment "how stupid can people be" because I too have to wonder. I did not have any problem with financial institutions. It was the utilities that caused me stress. My telephone company especially (even after seeing the death certificiate) temporarily suspended my husband's number instead of cancelling it! Did the kid actually think that Harv might decide to come back and start making calls again! Big hugs to you. Darlene
KimKos
Im sorry Michele...This has got to suck..I have been lucky in this area ..I didn't even have an issue selling our other house last year...and the deed had both our names on it ...my lawyer was my power of attorney at the close so I didn't have to go and with my signature and a copy of death certificate ..it was done.I think sometimes some of the things we expect to have some hurdles and they don't but then we get blind sided by something that should really not be so difficult. I had only one disturbing issue and that is with my insurance company...they carry the house...car...its the broker who keeps sending me emails...Jim we haven't heard from you...Jim lets recheck your needs Im sure they have changed...I have called...emailed back...it used to make me nuts...then one day I get an email from her looking for donation for a fund raiser they were having to honor her Dad who had recently passed...it was full of photos of her and her dad..and all this was addressed to my Jim...I was about ready to go off like a MoFo from hell...then something in one of the photos caught my eye...and I just thought F*ck it..let it go and I did...tho plan B if it ever disturbs me again is I will email her and tell her I have cut off my wiener and now go by the name of Kim please call me that ...and have a nice day :>)
slimbear
I know what you mean. The day after my wife died, the hospital called my wife's phone (which still worked) several times. I ignored it. Finally they called my phone. I answered and they asked, very excitedly "We were told that your wife was released yesterday, without medications and without instructions! Is that true?" Well. This was getting punched in the chest. Again.
Lisastp
I absolutely get it! I have been in your shoes and those people at the investment company just asked me one too many questions (like security questions such as what was our last address, how long have we lived there, etc. And this is after having the death certificate, every form you could think of, etc.) And at that point, I just let her have it. And yes, I moved all the accounts away from that firm immediately upon getting control of them (except I left three cents in one account on purpose so that they are spending time and money mailing me statement on an account worth $0.03.) So it's a tiny bit of justice for the inconsideration of my situation.
lmj90
I understand your frustration, I have been trying for months to get my husbands medical records from the emergency room where the took him. What do i get?? Oh your not his next of kin?? WHAT IM HIS WIFE you idiots!!! but apearently that doesn't matter unless they want the bill paid. Keep fighting keep calling and don't let up even if you have to tell the story again and again. I would consider moving the money if you can avoid a penelty. People don't understand that not only did you loose your husband but you lost everything else as well, income, insurance, ect. I don't wish this on anyone but I don't understand why people have to be so cold and why there are not better procedures in place when this happens.
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